So a couple of months ago W and I started a health kick of sorts. He started noticing all the foods we ate with high fructose corn syrup in them and decided that we didn't want Butters to have it. So we started going through Publix and Target searching out labels of foods that didn't have it in there. The first few times it was really hard. There are so many foods that you don't think about that have it in there. The first big thing was bread. Almost all prepackaged bread has it in there, while the Publix bakery or Target bakery bread does not have it in there. We also noticed that about 85% of cereals in the isle have it in there. So now we are slowly getting things out of the house that have it in there. Its taken some time but its been worth it. I've felt much better and can now taste it when I eat something that has a lot of it in it.
In other news adult clinic came to an end last week and I was defiantly sad. It was great to get coached by the UAH coaching staff and players as well as Jonathan Loundsbery from the Havoc. The coaches kept up going with skills and drills for all levels as well as some good scrimmaging at the end of the practice.I wanted to do it again but in all honestly I'll be too busy. With 6 graduate hours starting tomorrow and playing women's league on Thursday nights and then SOL on Sunday afternoons its going to be a busy summer.
Oh and one small milestone with Butters today. He went an entire day without a bottle and no fussing for it. Granted he nursed 4 times but other than that he only had a sippy cup which is a small step but I was very proud of him today.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
food issues
I've never made an effort to cover up my eating problems but this weekend for some reason they reared their ugly head.
Let me back track and first say that in the past I have had issues with my weight and body in general. I've gotten past it for the most part but some days it comes back. This past weekend was one of those times. Since Alvin isn't nursing as much I know that I'm not burning as many calories and I've started scrutinizing what I eat. So much so that I bring myself to tears agonizing over what I want and being hungry but not wanting to eat and have to deal with the consequences later. I weighed myself today for the first time in a few months and weighted in at 124lb and about 27% body fat. Granted this isn't bad but I'm still not happy. This is the main reason for a long time I didn't even look at a scale. But now I sit here with the boy and W both napping and wanting something to eat. My mind tells me no because I'm too big as it is and my body is telling me yes because I'm getting dizzy. So I end up eating about a cup of cheese pasta left over from dinner last night with Parmesan cheese and I feel bad. WTF I eat and get some of the dizziness to stop and now I'm back to feeling guilty for it. Granted since playing hockey W keeps telling me that my legs have gotten smaller and I look more lean but I don't feel it. All I see is the chubby kid I used to be. I have got to get over all this for the sake of my kids because I do not want them to see me having food and diet issues and then do it themselves.
Let me back track and first say that in the past I have had issues with my weight and body in general. I've gotten past it for the most part but some days it comes back. This past weekend was one of those times. Since Alvin isn't nursing as much I know that I'm not burning as many calories and I've started scrutinizing what I eat. So much so that I bring myself to tears agonizing over what I want and being hungry but not wanting to eat and have to deal with the consequences later. I weighed myself today for the first time in a few months and weighted in at 124lb and about 27% body fat. Granted this isn't bad but I'm still not happy. This is the main reason for a long time I didn't even look at a scale. But now I sit here with the boy and W both napping and wanting something to eat. My mind tells me no because I'm too big as it is and my body is telling me yes because I'm getting dizzy. So I end up eating about a cup of cheese pasta left over from dinner last night with Parmesan cheese and I feel bad. WTF I eat and get some of the dizziness to stop and now I'm back to feeling guilty for it. Granted since playing hockey W keeps telling me that my legs have gotten smaller and I look more lean but I don't feel it. All I see is the chubby kid I used to be. I have got to get over all this for the sake of my kids because I do not want them to see me having food and diet issues and then do it themselves.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Summer SOL
So who's with me to play summer open league hockey? Sure I've only been playing for 3 months, but what do I have to loose?
So who locally is with me?!
So who locally is with me?!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
another random comment
Just a quick comment from around the office last week.
DA1 “You know V your more of a man than most guys because most guys won't play hockey.”
It took me a minute to think about this but I had to laugh. DA1 is right most guys not to mention women would take on all I do and hockey. I just have to laugh at it all.
DA1 “You know V your more of a man than most guys because most guys won't play hockey.”
It took me a minute to think about this but I had to laugh. DA1 is right most guys not to mention women would take on all I do and hockey. I just have to laugh at it all.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
school, hockey and weaning
So finals and the hockey tournament are over and now I can start to catch my breath. Even though I studied for my 601 final I still couldn’t pull off the grade I needed. So now I don’t really know what to do. Part of me just wants to give up. But par for the course I have resigned myself to keep going. I know I passed flight testing and if I don't get the grade I need in 601 I'll just have to retake it in the spring. As of right now grades aren't posted yet but I'm not looking forward to it. This summer I am taking reliability and design of experiments. Its going to be a rough 10 weeks but I’ve pulled off crazier things…like playing hockey!
Hockey is still going well. Dennis Williams the assistant coach of the UAH chargers finally made it to adult clinic Monday night and I had a blast. He was really patient and tailored the drills to challenge all of the levels. Also the hockey tournament in Nashville was great. I of course had a run in with Murphy and landed very hard on my tail bone the first game and stayed hurt all weekend but that of course didn’t stop me from playing although in hindsight it should have. A week later I am still hurting. This week's practice was a little slower than normal. Our coach tore her thigh muscle, another girl sprianed her ankle, one broken thumb and other small injurys. It was a good practice but you could definatly tell that the previous weekend had taken its tole. Oh well it just comes with the territory I guess. This week will be our first real game at the ice plex. If anyone is interested in seeing us play we will be at the Ice Plex in Huntsville at 2040.
So after 13 months of pumping at work and else ware I think we are about done with it, but I feel really guilty. This past week I started working on weaning off my middle of the day pumping session and it went pretty well. I’ve been trying to collect my thoughts on this for quite a while, but while W and I were at the tournament I got the sense that Butters really is starting to wean himself a little. W and I were gone this weekend and my MIL kept him but she still gave him milk that we had frozen. When we got back on Sunday he didn’t do his normal your home I want to nurse deal. Instead he was thrilled to see us but wanted to go and play. He has also started not wanting to nurse to sleep anymore. He’s not nursing at night anymore and hasn’t been since about 5 months. I just feel bad about not pumping during the day anymore. I guess it’s just the hormone changes but I just feel bad. I know its great that we made it a year, but I didn’t expect him to start wanting drop one so early. But in the end its for the best. He is still getting his bottle first thing in the morning and still nursing when ever I'm at home for as long as he wants. So in the end it seems to have all worked out for the best.
Hockey is still going well. Dennis Williams the assistant coach of the UAH chargers finally made it to adult clinic Monday night and I had a blast. He was really patient and tailored the drills to challenge all of the levels. Also the hockey tournament in Nashville was great. I of course had a run in with Murphy and landed very hard on my tail bone the first game and stayed hurt all weekend but that of course didn’t stop me from playing although in hindsight it should have. A week later I am still hurting. This week's practice was a little slower than normal. Our coach tore her thigh muscle, another girl sprianed her ankle, one broken thumb and other small injurys. It was a good practice but you could definatly tell that the previous weekend had taken its tole. Oh well it just comes with the territory I guess. This week will be our first real game at the ice plex. If anyone is interested in seeing us play we will be at the Ice Plex in Huntsville at 2040.
So after 13 months of pumping at work and else ware I think we are about done with it, but I feel really guilty. This past week I started working on weaning off my middle of the day pumping session and it went pretty well. I’ve been trying to collect my thoughts on this for quite a while, but while W and I were at the tournament I got the sense that Butters really is starting to wean himself a little. W and I were gone this weekend and my MIL kept him but she still gave him milk that we had frozen. When we got back on Sunday he didn’t do his normal your home I want to nurse deal. Instead he was thrilled to see us but wanted to go and play. He has also started not wanting to nurse to sleep anymore. He’s not nursing at night anymore and hasn’t been since about 5 months. I just feel bad about not pumping during the day anymore. I guess it’s just the hormone changes but I just feel bad. I know its great that we made it a year, but I didn’t expect him to start wanting drop one so early. But in the end its for the best. He is still getting his bottle first thing in the morning and still nursing when ever I'm at home for as long as he wants. So in the end it seems to have all worked out for the best.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
hockey and criticism
For any women out there that may have considered playing hockey I have one thing to say, “Be a shoe” to quote W. Meaning just go a head and do it. These last few weeks playing hockey have been amazing. I play with a bunch of women who are mothers them selves with older kids. Monday night I started playing in a hockey clinic with women and men and it wasn’t bad at all. I wasn’t the worst out there and actually had a lot of fun playing against the guys. It’s true that playing against the guys that were much better made me really have to work harder to keep up. So last night I only got about 3.5 hours of sleep and I am completely exhausted but it was so much fun. After the class was over we even got to stay for about 20 extra minutes and play a pick up game. That was really tough but once again a lot of fun. Dennis Williams, assistant coach of the UAH Chargers was supposed to coach, but last night he wasn’t there and instead was replaced by Kevin Galerno a forward from UAH Chargers and Jonathan Lounsbury a defensemen from the Huntsville Havoc. I got to work with Kevin on puck handling and shooting and he really helped me start to get the hang of it a lot more.
So in other news the criticism has started about me nursing past a year. Granted I expected it, but its come from people I didn’t expect. So far when I get the comments about how long we are going to keep going I just say something along the lines of we are not in any rush to wean. That normally gives people the impression that we are about done and they back off, but the truth of it is that we really aren’t done. Right now the only time frame I have in my head is sometime before I finish my master’s degree. By that time he will be about 2.5 and I will probably be ready for a break before we possibly start trying for a second after I finish my degree. The odd thing is a year ago I don’t think I ever even considered the thought of nursing past a year. I guess I thought that I would just wean at a year or that he would self wean and we would just be done with it. A year later I don’t see how I could wean him right now.
After saying all of this once again I am reminded of something. I could not have taken all of this on without the unwavering support of W. He is the one that encouraged me to start the women’s league. He’s the one that has never given me any grief about extended nursing and has even gone as far as to defend it to his family without me having to say a word. If it wasn’t for him and his support of my insane energizer bunny on crack way of being there is no way I could do all of this.
So in other news the criticism has started about me nursing past a year. Granted I expected it, but its come from people I didn’t expect. So far when I get the comments about how long we are going to keep going I just say something along the lines of we are not in any rush to wean. That normally gives people the impression that we are about done and they back off, but the truth of it is that we really aren’t done. Right now the only time frame I have in my head is sometime before I finish my master’s degree. By that time he will be about 2.5 and I will probably be ready for a break before we possibly start trying for a second after I finish my degree. The odd thing is a year ago I don’t think I ever even considered the thought of nursing past a year. I guess I thought that I would just wean at a year or that he would self wean and we would just be done with it. A year later I don’t see how I could wean him right now.
After saying all of this once again I am reminded of something. I could not have taken all of this on without the unwavering support of W. He is the one that encouraged me to start the women’s league. He’s the one that has never given me any grief about extended nursing and has even gone as far as to defend it to his family without me having to say a word. If it wasn’t for him and his support of my insane energizer bunny on crack way of being there is no way I could do all of this.
Monday, April 7, 2008
guilt and random update
It seems like there isn’t a week that goes by lately where I don’t feel guilty to some degree. I apologize to W for seemingly being a complete ghost during the week and feel bad for Butters that I only see him for about 3 hours before he goes to bed at night. W constantly tells me that he understands and that I’m doing all I can, but I still feel bad. Lately I’ve working more 11 to 12 hour days getting to work at 4am just so I can get things done and still get home to see both of them around 1530. I try and tell myself that this is great that I put forth the effort to make time for both of them, but sometimes it just doesn’t seem like enough. I know that all of this comes from juggling work, school and now hockey with family, but I always seem to have that guilt. One of the things that keeps me going is know that with school I’ll be finished by the time Butters turns 3. At least this way I’ll be there for him later. Also part of the reason I have started playing hockey is so that I can skate with Butters when he starts termites when he turns 3.
On another random note the name Butters is very ironic now. He has contact allergies to acids from fruits but now he also has a contact allergy to butter. We don’t know if its to all dairy products, but this weekend while eating scrambled eggs cooked in butter and smearing them all over himself he broke out in blisters everywhere the eggs touched. So we gave him a bath and within 2 hours the blisters were all gone and he was fine. He never acted bothered by them. It’s just really strange.
In other news I love playing hockey. After my 3rd week of practice I am really starting to enjoy myself. This last practice we did full ice scrimmages and I really liked it. The main thing I am having problems with is puck handling. It looks so easy but my hand eye coordination just stinks! I am so excited to go to this tournament at the end of the month.
Also finals are coming up in both stats and flight testing so if I don’t update this thing regularly in the next few weeks that is the reason right there. My stats test is going to be comprehensive which scares me to death and my flight testing final is a presentation which also makes me a little nervous. Either way I have a lot of work to do in the next 2 weeks to get ready for these finals.
On another random note the name Butters is very ironic now. He has contact allergies to acids from fruits but now he also has a contact allergy to butter. We don’t know if its to all dairy products, but this weekend while eating scrambled eggs cooked in butter and smearing them all over himself he broke out in blisters everywhere the eggs touched. So we gave him a bath and within 2 hours the blisters were all gone and he was fine. He never acted bothered by them. It’s just really strange.
In other news I love playing hockey. After my 3rd week of practice I am really starting to enjoy myself. This last practice we did full ice scrimmages and I really liked it. The main thing I am having problems with is puck handling. It looks so easy but my hand eye coordination just stinks! I am so excited to go to this tournament at the end of the month.
Also finals are coming up in both stats and flight testing so if I don’t update this thing regularly in the next few weeks that is the reason right there. My stats test is going to be comprehensive which scares me to death and my flight testing final is a presentation which also makes me a little nervous. Either way I have a lot of work to do in the next 2 weeks to get ready for these finals.
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