I’m not saying all these things to be nostalgic about how Butters once looked so frail and now is the 35lb toddler that bulldozes everything and everyone in his path. I talk about this because in some ways I am mentally preparing for it become a reality again.
Since my doctor is already talking about this baby following in his/her brother’s footsteps in being big and possibly coming as early as 35 weeks or so hence the reason I feel that it’s best to not forget those things that happened with Butters. Sure I hope for the best. Of course I hope that we will have an uncomplicated birth and this one will be able to room in with us at the hospital then be discharged with me. But, there is a part of me that after Butter’s birth and sudden onset of breathing difficulties knows the routine and doesn’t want to forget it all just in case we see it all again. I don't want the surprise, shock and fear that all went along with his sudden admission to the NICU. I want to be prepared and remember what happened last time just incase it happens again. I am almost half way through my pregnancy and I have had these thoughts on and off since I found out. I guess I just want to be prepared for what I know could happen.
I don’t know what it is about me, but having been through the experience once before the more I know about the situation the more it bothers me. I know that what happens is out of my control and I try to keep that in mind, but it’s really hard. I’m just one of those people that want to be prepared for everything and this is no exception. I guess its an engineer thing. :0)