Monday, May 26, 2008

new health kick

So a couple of months ago W and I started a health kick of sorts. He started noticing all the foods we ate with high fructose corn syrup in them and decided that we didn't want Butters to have it. So we started going through Publix and Target searching out labels of foods that didn't have it in there. The first few times it was really hard. There are so many foods that you don't think about that have it in there. The first big thing was bread. Almost all prepackaged bread has it in there, while the Publix bakery or Target bakery bread does not have it in there. We also noticed that about 85% of cereals in the isle have it in there. So now we are slowly getting things out of the house that have it in there. Its taken some time but its been worth it. I've felt much better and can now taste it when I eat something that has a lot of it in it.

In other news adult clinic came to an end last week and I was defiantly sad. It was great to get coached by the UAH coaching staff and players as well as Jonathan Loundsbery from the Havoc. The coaches kept up going with skills and drills for all levels as well as some good scrimmaging at the end of the practice.I wanted to do it again but in all honestly I'll be too busy. With 6 graduate hours starting tomorrow and playing women's league on Thursday nights and then SOL on Sunday afternoons its going to be a busy summer.

Oh and one small milestone with Butters today. He went an entire day without a bottle and no fussing for it. Granted he nursed 4 times but other than that he only had a sippy cup which is a small step but I was very proud of him today.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

food issues

I've never made an effort to cover up my eating problems but this weekend for some reason they reared their ugly head.

Let me back track and first say that in the past I have had issues with my weight and body in general. I've gotten past it for the most part but some days it comes back. This past weekend was one of those times. Since Alvin isn't nursing as much I know that I'm not burning as many calories and I've started scrutinizing what I eat. So much so that I bring myself to tears agonizing over what I want and being hungry but not wanting to eat and have to deal with the consequences later. I weighed myself today for the first time in a few months and weighted in at 124lb and about 27% body fat. Granted this isn't bad but I'm still not happy. This is the main reason for a long time I didn't even look at a scale. But now I sit here with the boy and W both napping and wanting something to eat. My mind tells me no because I'm too big as it is and my body is telling me yes because I'm getting dizzy. So I end up eating about a cup of cheese pasta left over from dinner last night with Parmesan cheese and I feel bad. WTF I eat and get some of the dizziness to stop and now I'm back to feeling guilty for it. Granted since playing hockey W keeps telling me that my legs have gotten smaller and I look more lean but I don't feel it. All I see is the chubby kid I used to be. I have got to get over all this for the sake of my kids because I do not want them to see me having food and diet issues and then do it themselves.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Summer SOL

So who's with me to play summer open league hockey? Sure I've only been playing for 3 months, but what do I have to loose?

So who locally is with me?!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

another random comment

Just a quick comment from around the office last week.

DA1 “You know V your more of a man than most guys because most guys won't play hockey.”

It took me a minute to think about this but I had to laugh. DA1 is right most guys not to mention women would take on all I do and hockey. I just have to laugh at it all.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

school, hockey and weaning

So finals and the hockey tournament are over and now I can start to catch my breath. Even though I studied for my 601 final I still couldn’t pull off the grade I needed. So now I don’t really know what to do. Part of me just wants to give up. But par for the course I have resigned myself to keep going. I know I passed flight testing and if I don't get the grade I need in 601 I'll just have to retake it in the spring. As of right now grades aren't posted yet but I'm not looking forward to it. This summer I am taking reliability and design of experiments. Its going to be a rough 10 weeks but I’ve pulled off crazier things…like playing hockey!

Hockey is still going well. Dennis Williams the assistant coach of the UAH chargers finally made it to adult clinic Monday night and I had a blast. He was really patient and tailored the drills to challenge all of the levels. Also the hockey tournament in Nashville was great. I of course had a run in with Murphy and landed very hard on my tail bone the first game and stayed hurt all weekend but that of course didn’t stop me from playing although in hindsight it should have. A week later I am still hurting. This week's practice was a little slower than normal. Our coach tore her thigh muscle, another girl sprianed her ankle, one broken thumb and other small injurys. It was a good practice but you could definatly tell that the previous weekend had taken its tole. Oh well it just comes with the territory I guess. This week will be our first real game at the ice plex. If anyone is interested in seeing us play we will be at the Ice Plex in Huntsville at 2040.

So after 13 months of pumping at work and else ware I think we are about done with it, but I feel really guilty. This past week I started working on weaning off my middle of the day pumping session and it went pretty well. I’ve been trying to collect my thoughts on this for quite a while, but while W and I were at the tournament I got the sense that Butters really is starting to wean himself a little. W and I were gone this weekend and my MIL kept him but she still gave him milk that we had frozen. When we got back on Sunday he didn’t do his normal your home I want to nurse deal. Instead he was thrilled to see us but wanted to go and play. He has also started not wanting to nurse to sleep anymore. He’s not nursing at night anymore and hasn’t been since about 5 months. I just feel bad about not pumping during the day anymore. I guess it’s just the hormone changes but I just feel bad. I know its great that we made it a year, but I didn’t expect him to start wanting drop one so early. But in the end its for the best. He is still getting his bottle first thing in the morning and still nursing when ever I'm at home for as long as he wants. So in the end it seems to have all worked out for the best.