Rotormommy

Can I get one normal kid?

2011-11-01T19:56:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago when I took Elliot to her two year checkup with her pediatrician we were going through the long list of developmental questions when the one about speech came up.

I was dreading this because I knew that she wasn't up to par with other 2 year olds. After talking for a while her doctor agreed that she was probably delayed and referred us to early intervention to see if she qualified for services through the state.

I set everything up thinking they were going to tell us we were nuts and that she was fine and would be talking non stop before we knew it.

But of course it didn't happen like that. We went through the evaluation and of course Elliot is a shy one to strangers so she clung close to me. After a few minutes of warming up she gradually got into the play/ testing. She did the block stacking with ease and engaged in pretend play with a bear going as far as wanting the bear wrapped up in a blanket. When it came to the social/emotional skills she excelled like we knew she would.

The verbal skills were another thing though. When asked to point to a picture she might if she felt like it and would point to the wrong picture many times. She talked very little during the evaluation other than nodding her head or saying “that”. When it was all said and done we got the news. She did qualify for services in speech due to her delay being at least 25%. Basically right now she has speech ability of a one year old. Yeah that was a kick in the gut!

So right now we have a date to set up her IFSP (Individualized Family Services Plan) next week. At this point we will find out how many days a week she will have speech therapy from her therapist and how long each session will be. The plan will be adjusted in 6 months to address improvements and new goals.

This kind of early intervention therapy will be good for a year. If she needs additional support after that we will be moved to a new program with the help of our therapist and family services coordinator.

After Alvin’s mess you would think I would be prepared for it all but I just wasn’t. She is so outgoing and many people that have seen her in WA can attest to it.

Showing her independence

But just like her birth she has to follow in her brother’s footsteps. She entered the world very similar to her brother and now is following him in the speech delay department.

Alvin teaching her how to fly

So I will update this more once we get more information next week. The best thing I can say right now is I am just glad we are catching it all early.

To Elliot on her second birthday

2011-10-05T05:00:00.000-07:00

To my peanut, two years ago I was scared to death of having a little girl. Not being big into the girly stuff and the color pink I wasn’t sure how things were going to work with you. But just like your brother your arrival had to be eventful as ever. You spent the first five days in the NICU and just like your brother have never had a sick visit since!

Two years later and you are still causing mischief as only you can. You get yourself dressed and of course undressed (at completely inappropriate times on occasion)! You are sensitive and caring to all of us and yes that includes your brother. I have witnessed so many times where you just want to help him or us and before being asked you are bringing people shoes to get ready to go or covering him up with a blanket when he feels rotten.

Alvin teaching Elliot to roll balls down the chute.

Elliot and Alvin. The normal look. She's happy to see him he just wants to run!

The biggest thing over the past year has been all the changes though. We moved you across country, dealt with your brother’s diagnosis and through it all you have been wonderful. What’s been amazing is how fiercely you guard him and still take the time to bully him around the house. You can’t say his name and maybe only 10 words but you can somehow manage to get him to do your bidding. You go to all of Alvin’s soccer practices and somehow befriend the kids with the biggest challenges by kicking the ball to them. You see kids with down-syndrome and other issues as normal and just laugh with them as you run down the soccer field.

The scariest thing that I have realized in many ways is that you have become a mini me! You are fiercely independent as only you can be. A few months ago I started joking that you are a 4 year old boy trapped in a 2 year old little girl’s body. When you set your mind to do something no madder how many times you have to try, you just don’t give up. In the gym you will do a face plant reaching for the bar and yet jump up and say "Tada!" You gain confidence every week in the gym and at home and its so cute to watch.

Walking on the beam.

Reaching for the bar! Its so far away though!

Reach and swing...but she doesn't want to let go!

So happy birthday Peanut! Mommy, Daddy, Sissy and yes even brother love you!

the new job update

2011-06-07T20:31:00.000-07:00

This is a post I've been trying to get to for weeks but everytime I think about it I'm too tired or busy taking the kids to gym or any number of reasons.

The job so far has been amazing and very worth the move 2500 miles across country. The job itself is a liaison engineer and it keeps me on my toes. The training just to recieve full authority will take me a total of about 6.5 months total. The training entails rotating through 6 different groups within the factory. This exposes me to many different situations so that I'm ready for my end spot on the flight line. I spend my days now running all over the factory and putting out fires and coordinating things with the shop. I work with a mentor in every group who shows me the ropes and works with me throughout the time I'm there. This has been a great experience and I'm learning more every day.

The thing is even my bad days right now are better than my good days before. I'm no longer a "CAD monkey" as I referred to my job so many times before. I am no longer the lowest person on the totem pole and treated as such. I am actually using my degree which is a huge step for me! The days are 8 hours or more every day, but the guys are fun and we can always laugh even though things just get crazy.

So far the move and job have all been worth it. The job and people that I work with are great. Not only has the job been good but also Alvin's progress. We are seeing huge steps. He is talking and singing songs and even asking for things without any prompting.

Update!

2011-05-13T20:50:00.000-07:00

So I noticed the other day that this thing had been quiet for about a month. Things have been busy around the house, but then again with 2 kids (about to be 3 when Mac comes to stay with us for a month) a dog and a cat how are things not busy.

We have been taking advantage of taking the kids to the Seattle Children's museum for their early open for autism. This is not only good for Alvin but also Elliot since its all about having fun in an environment made for kids.

Then there has been the time outside. When the sun is out we seem to stay outside doing things. We have even started doing picnic dinners at the park on a regular basis. They say that this is spring but I doubt its gotten above 65 deg and to me right now that doesn't feel much like spring!

The kids are still at The Little Gym. We have had issues for Alvin but that's another story for another day. The important thing is both kids are still loving it and doing well. Elliot even moved up to the next age group and Alvin transferred classes from the sports skills that was less organized to a pure gymnastics class with 4 to 5 year old kids that is much calmer and better organized.

The other reason I haven't been on here more is I have a new project. I found myself talking so much about Alvin and asperger's syndrome autism I created another blog just for that stuff. I'm working on about a post every week or 2 at this point. If you are inclined to check it out its called Life WithButters.

Happy 4th Birthday Butters and the IEP results!

2011-03-26T19:36:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th Birthday Alvin!!

Since Alvin has become stressed by large groups we pondered what to do for his birthday. Since we are still settling in we decided on one of his favorite dinners (fried chicken) at home.

And then of course there was cake.

Toy Story is a favorite right now so we did that them. The cake was chocolate with banana filling from Safeway. As far as grocery store cakes go it was pretty good.

MMmmm! Cake!


Must grab frosting!!!

Of course Elliot had to be involved in the fun too!

Going back in for more frosting!

Earlier that day he also got his puppy back so it was a great birthday for him!

On another note we had the IEP meeting with his school on Thursday and I know one thing. They are not playing. They have some pretty good goals for him. Some of them include (and all of this is to be accomplished by mid June) to have a 30% increase in perceptive and receptive language, doing a task for 5 minutes or more, sitting in a group and listening to a story with other kids, playing well with others with minimal adult intervention and doing imaginary play with an adult or other child. Almost every goal says "with minimal or no assistance" which I love!

I met with his teacher, physical/ occupational therapist, speech therapist and psychologist. I fell in love with these women. They were wonderful to talk to and just kept saying how they wish I had brought him so they could meet him. They are very excited to work with him.

He will be going from 9 to 11:30 Monday through Thursday and I felt very comfortable with the entire staff and can't wait for him to start on Monday. His class will have 10 kids, 1 teacher and 2 adult teaching assistants. This is the best student to teacher ratio we could get. I feel like he is going to be challenged but also cared for as well. The staff told me they send home weekly letters so you know what they are working on and also said they communicate through email quite a bit and said if we ever had any questions for any member of his team we were welcome to email or call anyone of them. How great is this! I love the open communication that they are fostering already!

It is a little bitter sweet. He will start school on Monday and I'm not taking him. Will and Elliot. I know he will do well though.

A new normal

2011-03-08T20:10:00.000-08:00

Alvin has autism.

There I said it. He has a form of it that most people we meet have no idea about. We are increasingly looked at when out and Alvin has one of his meltdowns in public. His brain is in overdrive and lately the outbursts and being scared has come far more frequent since the move.

But you know what. Alvin is normal to us. One of the things that W and I have strived for in all of this is not to loose sight of is to Always treat Alvin as normal as possible. To us he is still a normal 3 almost 4 year old. He throws tantrums, plays games, and even sometimes does things to his sister that we wish he wouldn't do. He also gets his share of time outs like any other preschooler.

But there are also times when we have to slow down. We have begun to take notice of the times that he needs more reassurance. Times when he just needs an extra minute or two to understand what s going on.

With the move, and diagnosis all within 4 months at times its been overwhelming. But somewhere in the middle of it all I think W and I stopped caring. Not really stopped caring but just stopped worrying about it all. Yes we have challenges that most families don't. Yes Alvin has increasingly more odd outbursts and unexplained (to most) meltdowns.

We got him enrolled in The Little Gym here the same week we got into town. I don't regret it for a minute. The gym helps with his social and motor skills. We have had great success there. Its fun for him without being too structured. He loves it and so do we and I think we will have continued success there with our “normal” little boy!


Playing hockey at The Little Gym

He was actually playing with her!!!!

2 weeks until we move to WA!!!

2011-01-31T18:48:00.000-08:00

I know I've been really bad about posting anything else since I announced the move and its just because we have been insanely busy. Between the holiday's and the shear logistics of getting us ready to move across country it's been really busy. I also accidentally over scheduled Alvin on Tuesday's so we go from occupational therapy to dinner to The Little Gym and his sports skills class.

Alvin has been doing really well in therapy and the gym. Of course we have good days and bad days. His private therapist (Miss Denise as he calls her) has fallen in love with him and he will do almost anything for her. The best so far with his sports skills class that he actually listened part of the time and tried to play with the other kids. The worst of it is when he just runs all over the place and acts wild. I try not to intervene but sometimes I have to because he is just too wild. Its all a work in progress though and that's what I have to keep in mind.The Little Gym is not only teaching him motor skills but also how to interact with the other kids.

The logistics of the move are another job in itself. We have our flights, temporary housing and everything nailed down now. The wait for the background check to clear was the worst. It took over 3 weeks to finally clear. We've been slowly saying goodbye to family both here and in Moody. We know we won't be back for about a year so we are trying to make sure we see everyone before we leave.

The best thing that's happened so far is my new boss has already contacted me. We've talked a few times and he has even assigned me a mentor that I've been talking to quite a bit. Right now it looks like they have everything ready for me to start work there which is really awesome! My mentor has been very helpful thus far and after our conversations I am very excited to start.

I told my boss at work last week and he seems happy for me. The guys in my group say I'm lucky to be leaving. The guys in my group are not happy with how things have been going and many of them are looking for other jobs as well. At this point I'm just the first to leave.

To say we are excited is an understatement. Excited, scared, nervous yeah its all hit. The overwhelming thing is that we are just ready to get going.

Leaving Dixie, One of the Hardest thing to Leave, Charger Hockey

2011-01-02T17:37:00.000-08:00

So many times here I have talked of our love of Charger Hockey. I started going to games in 1999 when I started school at UAH. When W and I met I got him to start going to games with me. Since we started going to games together we have probably only missed a handful of games. We took Alvin to his first game at 6 months and Elliot went to her first game at 2 weeks and only about a week out of the NICU.

So to say the least we are dedicated Charger Hockey fans!

When I started looking at getting a job out of state one of the things that we talked about really missing is Charger Hockey.

In the past 4 years or so the hockey community has become family of sorts. The Charger hockey family being the closest of those people. Once Danton Cole took over W and I started going to coaches luncheons with Alvin. He immediately was very personable and talked to us quite a bit. We got to know him and the rest of the coaching staff including the current head coach Chris Luongo. We have gotten to know them and they know us on a personal level. It is like extended family. We have even gotten close to a few of the guys on the team and their parents. Last year Alvin took a liking to Brandon Roshko at one of the skate with the Charger public skating sessions. We ended up getting his jersey at the end of the year and to see the smiles on both of their faces was priceless. Now we seem to talk the Bill Burkholder a good bit as well as incoming freshman goal tender's dad Joe Groh. The funny thing is over the years most people first ask me how the kids and W are before anything else! Even the team gets involved with the kids at skate with the Chargers.

We even know most of the security staff at the VBC. Many of them have watched Alvin and Elliot grow up over the past couple of years. We talk to these same people every single home series. Most try to interact more with the kids and really seem to like seeing us every week. They also are fine with us going down to watch warmups on ice level. They always know we will be returining to our seats and generally understand that I'm just doing it to give the kids an upclose and personal view of the action.

Then there is W. Don't let him fool you when he talks about it. He is very humble but some of the shots he gets are amazing. Any doubt just look at his flickr stream. Especially this shot. His attitude with players and coaches alike is one I've never seen before. He has a standing philosophy that anything he shoots that the guys or their families want just let him know and he will give them the full resolution copies or prints for free. Many of the guys that play here don't have family that can come to a lot of games so its important for him to try and help them share what they are doing with family back home. He has amazing dedication to what he does and the players and coaching staff alike.

Leaving this program and the atmosphere kills me. We have come to love and respect the program so much and now we are leaving.W and I have talked many times about what it is going to feel like at our last game. Its going to really kill us in a way. No matter what the record and how they play its just what we do and no longer having that is going to be difficult. I'm just going to go ahead and say it. Our last game I'll be a wreck. The complete realization that it will be sometime before we make it back to a game is going to hit really hard.

This program has meant a lot to us over the years. The move we are making is for the best and I know once we get up there we will see more hockey and come to enjoy other teams. We will order B2 networks broadcasts of the games and even join the Blue Line Club but it just wont be the same.

No matter what happens we will never forget the UAH Charger Hockey team and what it has meant to us over the past few years.

The big news!

2010-12-18T14:42:00.000-08:00

If you’ve been following this blog for about the past 6 months to a year you know I’ve posted many things about how unhappy I am at my current job. 2 different bosses and still things continue to go downhill. I’ve even recently been demoted within my group simply due to my age and inexperience with Catia V4.

Also I’ve made it no secret that I’ve been looking for a new job. After the last round of random layoffs in my office that search got put into high gear. I’ve thrown out resumes to places all over town with no luck. Then I started applying to jobs out of state. Specifically up in Washington where there seemed to be a lot of engineering openings. The first job that I was considered for I got to the second round of interviews but got rejected. This is about the point that W and I started getting down about things.

Then I applied to another job opening at the same company and got asked to attend a job fair in Seattle WA. So I made arrangements and went up there thinking that this was just the first step in a long interview process. After a delay at the hotel I got to my interview right on time and as soon as I sat down was told that I would be told that day if I got the job or not.

The interview went well but I felt like I struggled with a couple of questions. I felt good about it but my nerves were shot after the hour long interview. Then came the hard part; waiting to find out if I got the job or not. After about 45 minutes of waiting I was finally called back. I got the job!!! I was told the job offer would come within 3 weeks and then I would get my start date and the exact location of where I would be working. I immediately called W and shared the news. To say he was floored was a complete understatement. What we had been working so hard for was starting to pan out!

The official offer letter came on Monday to our amazement. The letter contained a few details and confirmed that I will be working in Everett WA. Since then we have been busy looking at places to live and talking too many of W’s old friends about the area. We have also told our immediate family. Some have taken it better than others which we expected but everyone knows we are doing this for us and nothing else.

Since getting the official offer its been a whirlwind of things going on. We've been looking at apartments and I've been doing all of the standard pre-employment things. We are contacting friends in the area that might be able to help us. I should be contacted by the relocation office once my background check is complete which we expect to be here soon.

So that's the big news. We are officially moving out west sometime in February!

To Butters after a long month

2010-12-08T14:19:00.000-08:00

It’s come to me to write something to Butters. One day I'll be able to explain all of what is going on to him but for now it will reside here.

Dear Butters,

The past month has been really rough. We started out just thinking you were having a little problem speaking but it turns out things were much worse. Most nights when you go to bed it all hits me. How hard we have been working with you and how hard you are trying. Your dad and I struggle to understand you and make sure that we are not being too hard on you while still making sure that we push you to talk and act correctly.

I was one of the worst people though. I kept saying that you were just a normal 3 year old boy. You didn’t talk too much because in all honesty you didn’t need to. You are very much like your dad in that at times you are just quiet. You’ve always been outgoing in your own way and over time we have just learned that your interactions with people are just your own.

Over the last few weeks we have learned that you have been having seizures. There are drop or atonic seizures that only last for a few seconds. You never seem very phased by them and for so long we just thought you were clumsy like I am. The day of your occupational therapy evaluation when we found out about the seizures I just felt horrible. I of course beat myself up for not understanding that these things were not normal.

Over the next weeks and months there will be more tests. There will be changes in your routine that are going to throw you off of your norm. All I know is that even this process is going to be challenging it will get better. We will be going back to see hockey games once the team gets back in town. I promise you that. I also promise that once all this maddess of testing is over you will be able to start playing sports with other kids.

We will continue to let you see numbers and be completely amazed by your abilities. You learn in a very unique way and while it may be more difficult for you to understand things that other kids do so easily trust me it will come. Just trust me that your dad, sisters and I will do everything we can to make things easier for you to understand.

One thing I can tell you is that you surprise me every day. You are amazing in the unique way you see things. No matter what the end diagnosis is you are still you. At times you drive us mad with your unique ways and others completely surprise us with the things you have absorbed. At this time I know no other 3.5 year old that knows about half of the UAH hockey roster!

Just know that no madder what we love you and will be here through all of this.

Love,

Mom

Another week and more news

2010-11-07T19:10:00.000-08:00

So this was quite an eventful week. It started out with taking Alvin to a trial class at the Little Gym. It started out well enough but about half way through I started wondering if it was right for him. I had to go in and assist the teachers to control him when they broke out into stations. He screamed and cried thinking he was in trouble. By the end of it all I saw him struggle heavily to interact with other kids. He wanted to so bad at times but just couldn't figure out how to. The teachers suggested that I bring him back on Wednesday night due to that night being a smaller and calmer class.

Tuesday morning at work I got the call that the occupational therapist had an opening that afternoon. I dropped everything at work and made it home shortly after lunch to get him and head to the hospital for the evaluation. The team (one occupational therapist and one master's student) were wonderful with him. Within 15 minutes they knew what was going on with him. We went through some exercises and other things that would help him including using a plastic bristled brush to calm him. Once during the evaluation Alvin was sitting in a seat and suddenly slumped over then popped right back up. This immediately caught the therapists eye. She asked me if he had done that before and I said yes. He is 3 so of course he's clumsy. Well apparently this is not just him being clumsy and its called a drop seizure. She wasn't overly concerned but said we should go ahead and consult with our pediatrician.

So the next morning I got on the phone with the pediatrician's office and we got an appointment at 11 that morning. I discussed everything that happened and he came to the same conclusion that the occupational therapist did. He wants him to have an EEG on the 18th just to rule out anything else with the drop seizures. He reassured us that this was something that is very hard to spot in a kid of his age. 3 year olds are inherently clumsy and drop seizures can be very hard to spot.

On Thursday he had is first speech appointment with his new therapist and he did great. He was taken away to a seperate room and after 10 or 15 minutes he warmed up to her and finished strong. When we left he was happy and had a sense that he accomplished something that day.

So right now we have had 3 professionals tell us the same thing. So right now I'm about 90% confident with what we know. Right now we think Alvin has Asperger's syndrome. Basically its a form of autism where the person or child has a high level of functioning and a high level of intellect but have a hard time socializing. W and I are actually taking it pretty well. We have our moments when we break down and wish we didn't have to worry so much about therapy. We now approach Alvin slightly different. We work with him as much as possible and and make sure we are handling the situations appropriately given what we now understand about him.

This next week we continue the process. I'm meeting with a psychologist tomorrow to discuss his case and when he can be tested. Tuesday we go back to the occupational therapist and Thursday we go back to the speech therapist.

For a while this is just the way its going to be for a while. Luckily everything we are doing right now is in hopes of getting a better diagnosis and preparing for the evaluation in January.

Another twist and turn

2010-10-31T19:51:00.000-07:00

The past month or so has been a blur. I’ve been working on finding another job after figuring out that things in my group are just not going to get better. I’ve done everything I can and still things have gone downhill. I’ve been sending out resumes and applying for jobs both in and out of state. I even got as far as to a second interview with a company in the northwest and after dropping everything to get up there with a 48 hour notice I got the call on Tuesday and was told thanks but we decided to hire someone else.

During all this Elliot turned 1 and we had her birthday party. Everything went well and we got a few good shots of her smashing a cupcake and loving every bit of it.

The biggest impact on things we have been facing is a challenge with Butters. I’ve been in denial about it for some time but we finally got him tested by a speech pathologist and were not prepared for the results. We knew he was speech delayed and that since Elliot was born but not the degree we were told.

The basic diagnosis so far has been a severe delay in receptive and expressive language skills. Basically the test said that he is around the same place as a 1.5 year old with language and he is 3.5. When I read this it was like someone just knocked the wind right out of me.

Also her recommendations on how to start correcting things were quite drastic. She said that we need to take all of the things he loves (his cars, numbers, hockey ect) away from him. She suggested that the only tv he get to watch is educational programming. Well this is not the path we decided to take. We are working within limits and doing everything we can to encorage him to use more words together. Something as simple as saying “juice please” is a big deal and we are getting him to say it more and more.

The funny thing is that in the past couple of weeks Butter's has started to learn the UAH Hockey roster. His favorite thing is to say “Starting at left defense, #2 Ryan Burkholder”!

So what do we do now is the question I’ve gotten from a few people. Right now we are working like crazy to get him into the early intervention program at the elementary school we are zoned for. This is becoming challenging though because they can’t evaluate him until January 5^th. So in the mean time we are working like crazy to get another evaluation set up at the children’s hospital as well as social therapies started. The hospital has a therapy center for this kind of thing but first they have to evaluate him for speech and occupational delays.

Luckily since beginning this post I was put in contact with a speech pathologist that works primarily with preschool aged kids. The therapist I got to talk to on the phone was really wonderful. They just ask that I bring a copy of the initial test results and give it a shot. She recommended that we try a couple of sessions then if he doesn't take to her then maybe we could try someone else.

I’m also looking into starting him in a structured athletic activities. The Little Gym has a preschool program and we are going for a trial class Monday night to see how he has responded. I’ve also contacted several other gyms about their classes trying to find the best fit for him.

So this is the point we are at now. We are doing our best to get things started but it’s a very slow process.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-27T17:36:00.000-07:00


Photo courtesy of Will Nickelson

I'm late posting this but the birthday girl enjoying her cupcake! She turned 1 on October 5th.

My take on babywearing

2010-10-09T19:18:00.000-07:00

After seeing a lot of posts on twitter and facebook about the recent baby carrier recalls I realized that while I have been doing quite a bit of baby/toddler wearing since Alvin was born but I've never really talked about it here.

I started out when Alvin was about 3 months old. I had a Jeep front carrier and quickly realized that it wasn't working well. Then I went searching for another and found the mei tai. I wore it with Alvin all the time. It was my best friend and hockey games and I used it in any weather for about 3 years.

Taking a ride in a backpack carry.

When Elliot was born things changed. I had already received a ring sling as a gift and was prepared to use it. Then I found a fleece pouch sling on clearance. This was the answer to what I would need to get through the next few months of hockey season with a infant and 2 year old. The sling worked wonders for us all season long. I managed to nurse in it when needed and juggle both kids and their needs with ease.

Napping in her peanut shell before a hockey game.

During the middle of the game her bottom is still in the sling and she knocked out.

As the kids have grown the way I carry them as also grown. Now I primarily use my Ergo carrier. Its a quick on and off and also easy to nurse discreetly in when needed. I can walk around for hours and not need to readjust or mess with it once its on.

In her normal spot getting ready to go inside for a hockey game.

Sleeping in the Ergo during the middle of a college hockey game.

I have gotten a lot of comments over the years regarding how I wear them, why and what carriers they are. Every time they ask where I got one I refer them to a local shop and advise them to bring their child with them and get help with getting fitted for the right one. I am a big supporter of baby wearing but I also advise people to get the appropriate help when choosing one.

My carriers though have gotten us through sleepless nights when motion was the only thing that helped them. Its given us the ability to walk around museums, malls and other crowded places without needing to break out the stroller. But above all else its given me closeness with my kids. The time I have spent with both of them strapped to me has let me get to know them both in different ways. I got to know their personalities and it allowed them to be very social in situations that I never would have imagined.

Elliot 11 months

2010-09-05T19:31:00.000-07:00

Part of me can't believe that she is almost a year old. The past week I have begun planning her birthday party next month and I think I am about ready! Over the past couple of months she has gone from crawling slowly to being able to go rather fast. She is at least 24 lbs now and really doesn't like it when we try and feed her anything. She is definitely an independent feeder and would prefer us to give her cut up pieces of meat, fruits and vegetables rather than us feed her anything.

She is also cruising using on all the walls and furniture. Alvin has also learned to keep his snacks and drinks out of her reach since she will eat anything within her reach. She loves to say ma and ba.She recently discovered how to roll a ball back and forth. Around the house she has become very aware of Alvin and follows him around like a puppy some days. When he is around all she wants to do is play with him

The other night we got home from running some errands and she found one of Alvin's hockey sticks and a puck and started trying to hit it. The cutest thing was when I picked her up to let her practice walking she refused to let go and wanted to carry the stick with her! I guess our love of hockey is starting to wear off on her. I just wish I could have gotten a picture!

Luckily for all of us here the start of college football season means college hockey season isn't far off! We will be going to our first game on October 7th and 8th and we can't wait. This will be the first year that she will be able to really start watching and I can't wait to see how she reacts to watching warm ups.

And now for the pictures:

After the Swim For Melissa. This was the smallest shirt they had and it swallows her!

Battling cranberries for dinner. She didn't care she was a mess and had so much fun!


Here have some pasta.

Swinging at the park.

College football game day. Complete with the hounds tooth bow.

Roll Tide!

My recent issues with pumping at work

2010-08-29T18:03:00.000-07:00

If anyone has been following my twitter or facebook feeds you would know that last week I had some very interesting things happen at work.

I've talked about my pumping situation a couple of times before. Here and here. Basically I use an executive's office who is only here about once every 3 months or so. When he is here I use the storage closet next to it. Its a nice situation and I do everything to work around people's schedule and basically make sure I'm not bothering anyone. I even keep paper towels in my bag just in case anything spills it gets wiped up immediately and there is never a trace that I was even there.

On Wednesday I was approached by one of our administrators. She was unhappy about something and seemed really uncomfortable about what she needed to tell me. She said that one of the people upstairs (executives) had made a complaint about me leaving a mess in the office. She said there was now some cleaner/disinfectant in the office and that every time I am in there I need to wipe the desk down. While it disturbed me that someone had said this I assured her that I would be more sure than ever that there was nothing left behind. But like I said before I'm still not sure why anything was said since I am extremely paranoid about leaving any trace that I was ever even in the office.

The next morning I ran into the IT guy and he asked if our administrator had said something to me. I told him about the conversation the day before and said that he had even heard some rude comments about it. While he doesn't have kids he completely supports what I do. He said that one of them actually asked why I couldn't just go in the bathroom. His response was perfect. He asked them if they would like to go in the bathroom and eat and that's when the person dropped it. The IT guy also said he expects the wet marks on the desk were from other executive's that use the office from time to time. I was just getting blamed because I'm an easy target.

To cap off the week on Friday morning I was talking to someone and they told me that at this point my daughter was getting no nutritional value from nursing and that there was really no benefit. He said it was a lifestyle choice and that making a consecssion for me to have a room to pump in is liken to letting gay couples have rights in the work place. He said it was all about lifestyle choice and I could just give my daughter formula and save the hassle for everyone. At this point I ended the conversation. That kind of stupid logic I just can't deal with.

The funny thing about all this is it took me pumping at the office for almost 10 months before this stuff was ever said!! Reaslly! I honestly expected this kind of thing to come up much earlier if it was.

So why am I posting this. Well first off to share my story. I refuse to back down on this. Luckily the health care reform law was passed in March. This guarantees me that my employer can not ask me to pump in the bathroom. It specifically says that until she turns 1 I am entitled to pump in that office.

The entire situation last week enraged and frustrated me. I now know why so many women who work full time give up pumping when faced with these obstacles. If I had not been better informed or as educated regarding the law and my companies policies I could have easily backed down. Luckily I know what I can and can't do and stood my ground.

So what happens now. Well I am collecting information and printout to keep with me at work. I want to be able to pull this stuff out a moment's notice. I also hope that what has happened to me won't happen to any other woman that wants to pump at work. I plan on giving a copy of pertinant information such as the law and company policies to our administrators so that they can also help since most of the time they are just the messangers of the news.

If you have any comments or suggestions I would be happy to hear them!

How to take really young kids to a UAH hockey game!

2010-08-15T18:24:00.000-07:00

I'm published over at Save UAH Hockey! Go take a look! Basically after 3 years of taking at least one kid under the age of 3 to games so I have a good idea of what works for us at this point.

Here are 2 quick pictures of the past 2 years of taking them to games.

Tackling the steps before a game.

Elliot sleeping through a game.

Swim For Melissa

2010-07-26T19:49:00.000-07:00

Well who would have thought at this time last year that I would have a second story to share regarding the NICU. This past year since we participated in Swim for Melissa has been a struggle of ups and downs. Last year was great to see Alvin have a great time at the event and share his story with others. This year we now have a second story to share that most of you know all about. Elliot I guess wanted to make her mark on the event and now this year she too has a page of her own.

I am doing the swim with the kids again this year for a number of reasons but one really sticks out in my mind. This year the funds will not only be used to buy state of the art beds but also to provide for a family counselor. This is someitng that I really believe that they need. When Butters was born W and I only really had each other. No one else could relate to what we were going through. When the same thing happened to Elli we once again retreated back and relied on each other for support. We remembered how it was the first time which made it slightly more bearable. Having a family counselor on staff could really help out so many families like we were when Butters was born.

So this year both kids will be participating in a fund raiser called Swim For Melissa. You can read more about the basics of the program here. Butters and Elliot both are not old enough to actually swim this year but he is participating as what is called a paddler. He will be there getting to play with other kids his age and just helping out with any money we raise. The really nice thing is they have so many activities for all the kids and the shallow end of the pool will be open as well.

Since both of them are participating this year and I was hoping to get some people that I work with to also join I created the Splash Hawks team. From this link both Elliot and Alvin's pages are accessible. This past Friday we had our company picnic and did a dunk-a-boss booth to raise money for the team. As of this morning we raised $207! This far exceeded my expectations!

Also if anyone is interested a local salon is having a golden ticket event. When you buy a box of chocolates for $20 you get a golden ticket that is valued between $30 and $1000! I got one a couple of weeks ago and it was about a $50 value and doesn't expire til the end of November. For more information here is a link to the flyer.

9 months

2010-07-07T17:56:00.000-07:00

Wow its been really nothing going on here. I've been absent for a while due to things just being crazier than normal. I really don't see how some people do it. With working full time, having Mac here for the summer plus trying to keep up with the other 2, its been busy.

There was also the small issue of a job I applied for out of state. I ended up not getting it but I had to keep quiet for a while.

Elliot is now 9 months old and she has grown a ton. Around 8 months old she started kind of rolling then scooting a little until she gets where she wanted to go. Just a couple of weeks ago she finally got the idea of crawling and has been really working on that more and more. Also in about the past week she has started crusing a little. She can pull herself up on almost anything she can find be it person or object. Also she even had her first hair cut. Her bangs were getting far too long and I was able to get someone to trim them for us.

With all of this activity eating has become a challenge with her. Nursing in particular and even bottles are seemingly far too boring for her and sitting still to do either one is something she wants to do much of. Lately this has shown itself by her wanting to nurse all night long. During the day she will only take one bottle and snack a little. So what she has been doing is called reverse cycling. I've found out its fairly common for babies of working moms to do this. She is growing and developing normally she just choosing to get the bulk of calories at night rather than during the day.

Her official 9 month stats are she is 27.5 inches long which is right around average and she weighed in at 21.5 lbs which is in the 87%. Our pediatrician was happy that she is eating all table food now. The only thing that he is concerned with is she is slightly anemic. He recommended giving her something called poly-vi-sol but we have tried that in the past and the smell is horrible and I'm sure it tastes about the same. So instead we are going to try and just give her more iron rich foods for a while and see if that helps. The first night she had watermelon, avocado, some broccoli and cheerios. Luckily we also have plain rolled oats that I made oatmeal out of and she eats on during the week. Our pediatrician said the cheerios were a great source and that her iron levels would also start to rise as she started eating meat more.

And now for a few pictures from the last 2 months!

Good morning!

Supporting her team in the championship game.

Loving the ball pit at an indoor play ground.

Look what I can do!

Happy baby girl!

7 months

2010-05-10T16:38:00.000-07:00

Well I'm a week late on this but here we go. Elli turned 7 months old last week and now weighs in around 19.5lbs. My tiny little girl that fit into newborn clothes for almost 3 months is now primarily wearing 12-18 month clothes! She is babbling a ton and is on the verge of crawling. She has gotten really good about laying on her tummy and turning in circles. As far as food goes she hasn't found much that she doesn;t like. She has tried all kinds of things and most nights works really hard to get what is on our plates in addition to what she already ate. She loves to be held and the ring sling and mei tai are our best friends when we are out and about. She hardly makes a sound when in one of these and watches people around her very intently or just goes to sleep.

The latest development is a tooth. This past weekend we finally felt one pop through. She has been pretty good about it all and Hylands teething tablets have been our best friend!

There is one thing she isn't doing yet and that's sleeping for more than about 5 hours at a time. This past week she has been up every 3 hours at night wanting to eat. Out of me needing sleep she normally ends up in bed with us until I go to work then I move her back to her bed. While I personally never thought we would get to this point right now it works for us. I'm just patiently waiting for the day that she is consistently sleeping through the night so I can resume my crack of dawn workouts that I used to enjoy so much!

And now for the pictures taken over the past month.

Elli 6 months old

2010-04-12T18:59:00.000-07:00

At her 6 month appointment she was 17lbs 8oz and 26.5 inches long. She is now wearing size at least 9 months old but most of the clothes we have out are 12 month! She is so big and is really a chatty little girl. She has also decided that she would rather walk then roll. She has rolled from front to back but other than that she just doesn't care to do what we jokingly call stupid baby tricks. She is eating just about anything she can get her hands on and loves to sit at the table with us and either eating or just playing with her toys. She still isn't sleeping completely through the night but she is getting better and when she wakes up she has a purpose and after that is met she tends to want to go right back to bed. Here are a few pictures!

The truth about pumping at work

2010-04-04T14:37:00.000-07:00

The truth is, I’m not fond of it. Most of you know that due to working full time I have to pump at work. There are days where it’s not a problem and others where I just loath it. But the truth of it is even on the days I want to stop I won’t let myself.

Be it either my ~~cheap~~ thrifty nature or something else I will not use formula. I would rather spend money on freezer bags to store the excess in the deep freeze than spend money on formula. Of course there are the health benefits and other things but I won’t go into that here.

Right now I pump 3 times a day and probably will continue this schedule for another few months until she is eating solid food on a regular basis. At this time I will be able to go down to pumping twice a day and then slowly weaning sometime after her first birthday.

But let me say this some days pumping is not my best friend. You know those days when your schedule at the office is just insane and you can barely find time to eat lunch much less get away from your desk for a few minutes. Or the days when you look at a day and realize you are stuck in meetings most of the day. Well those days have been about my past 3 months straight. Things at the office have been really crazy and some days it’s hard to get away. One week it was so bad that I ended up setting up timed reminders on my desk top. Then one day when I got into the office and looked at the outlook calendar I saw a full day of meetings and my first thought was I wonder how I am going to get a few minutes to go pump.

One thing that does make it easier is how little time it takes me to pump. I generally only take 15 minutes from the time I leave my desk to the time I return. In this time I can pump (normally around 6oz), wash out all the parts and dry them. I use a Medela pump in style that besides being a little big is worth every penny we paid for it.

Other days I love the time I get away from my desk to pump. It’s nice to not have to look at a computer screen or talk to someone about a program that I’m currently working on. Its also nice to get away from listening to some of the idiotic things I tend to overhear from the guys.

Since starting to write this I found out that with the new health care reform bill that there is now a provision to allow for mothers to pump in a place other than the bathroom for one year. I’m not going to get political here but for working moms like me this is a huge step forward. I personally had to fight to get a place other than the bathroom and now with this on the books hopefully other moms won’t have to go through what I did.

To Butters on your 3rd birthday

2010-03-25T03:00:00.000-07:00

In 3 years you went from this

To this

I’m still not quite sure how it all happened so fast. You are a constant challenge to us and your creativity of how to get to things never ceases to amaze us. You have been a great big brother to Elli even though most of the time you refuse to say her name and rather just call her baby. You love to try and give her a bottle and give her kisses. When she cries though you cover your ears and run!

You are our hockey playing little boy even now. You still love the game and get really mad when we try and change the channel. Over the past year you have made friends with players and coaches of our beloved UAH Chargers and have stolen many hearts at games with how well behaved and cute you are running around the VBC in your jersey. Of course this year also has been one of you learning the chants at games thanks to our good friend! Hearing you run around the house saying “U-A-H” and “ You feel shame. Sitdown hack. See you in 2 minutes or less” has been priceless. Of course you have also picked up other words too but sometimes I can’t help but laugh at how you say them.

Your 3rd birthday is starting out like the weekend you were born. UAH is off to the NCAA regional tournament and while we might not be at the game your father and I can’t forget how this time 3 years ago you were working on making your appearance.

Happy Birthday to my little boy!

Wordless Wednesday-The Stanley Cup comes to Huntsville

2010-03-10T18:09:00.000-08:00

Of course we wouldn't be much of a true hockey family if we didn't get the kids picture taken with it!

(photos taken by @gamingwithbaby)

Smartipants Review

2010-02-13T17:20:00.000-08:00

Back when I initially started to dig into all the different cloth diaper types and started building our stash I heard of the Smartipants brand and was intrigued but was hesitant to order any due to wanting to see some more reviews. I subscribed to their blog and twitter feed and kept up with the company but never ordered one.

One day on twitter they asked for reviewers and I sent in an email and to my surprise about a month later I received a cool blue Smartipants diaper with one microfiber insert.

After taking the diaper out of its package I started playing with it a little. The snaps are VERY sturdy. Many times I feel like I am going to break them off because they hold on so tight. The diaper has a 2 snap adjustable rise in the front that uses 3 settings from snapped all the way down for a tiny one to all open for a larger baby/ toddler. After playing with the diaper a little I threw it into the wash to prep it. Once washed I was ready to put it to the test on 3.5 month old Elli. Lately she has really been putting diapers to the test by flooding them very quickly and having some massive teething explosive incidents so I was curious to see how it would hold up.

Well she is not one to disappoint and after an hour I heard her really mess up her diaper. When I went to change her everything was held in and the insert absorbed all the moisture.

Next I wanted to see if the insert really did come out in the wash. Once again I was not dissapointed. I threw the entire diaper in with the others and did not take the insert out. On wash day I did my normal routine and sure enough when I went to put things in the dryer the insert had washed right out and was perfectly clean.

The final test was seeing what else would work in the pocket. I stuffed the pocket with a pre-fold once, the hemp insert from a Thirsties Duo diaper and a Bum Genius microfiber insert snapped down. The only one I had problems with was the thirsties and I think its because the insert is a little wider than the pocket.

My overall opinion of this diaper is excellent! It is the easiest diaper in my stash to care for by far. Simply because I don't have to remove the insert and the shell can be dried on a low heat setting or hung up to dry. The smart sleeve insert that comes with the diaper is super absorbent in my opinion. Also the leg casing held the most explosive messes and showed showed no signs of wear after a month of use.

The only thing I think I would like to see improved in this diaper is the sleeve insert. While it fits one insert great but with an older baby who is a heavy wetter you might need a greater ability to stuff the diaper with more than one insert. I think the pocket could be just a touch wider and larger to allow more stuffing.

Other than that this diaper worked very well for us and I have sense bought a few more. It is now the diaper that when I reach for a pocket at home it is my first choice.

4 month stats

2010-02-08T19:49:00.000-08:00

Elli had her 4 month check up last week and to no suprise she has defiantly hit her growth spurt. She weighed in at 14lbs 4 oz which is around the 67th percentile and 25.5 inches long which is in the 90th percentile! Her pediatrician said that she is following Butters and getting very tall extremely quickly.
He asked a ton of questions of course regarding her reflux and developmental milestones. He told us that the reflux should subside when we start solids. Also he agreed about delaying solids until 6 months. She is growing very well so there's no need for any supplements or anything like that. She is determined to stand which he liked but rolling over isn't anything she is concerned with right now. He was also happy to see her wanting to sit up on her own and agreed with us that she might just skip rolling.

The only thing he wasn't very happy about is that she isnt sleeping through the night yet. The thing is she is sleeping in 6 hour stretches and only waking up once a night. Normally she gets up between 1:30 and 3:30am, eats, gets her diaper changed and goes right back to bed. So in that respect she is doing well though.

And now for the pictures:

on the changing table just happy

Hanging out in the mei tai asleep while I pack.

On the road again

2010-02-08T19:19:00.001-08:00

Well I'm off on another adventure by myself. I was informed on Thursday that I needed to get to NAS Corpus Christi as soon as possible. So I set out getting my flight, hotel and rental car all booked. Things were a huge flurry of activity. I let W know and all of a sudden it set in. Elli just turned 4 months old and I'm leaving. Part of me just wants to cry. It was pretty rough when I left Butters for the first time and while it might be a touch easier this time it still just sucks and there's no way around that.

So the question is what about nursing and everything. Well luckily we have enough frozen milk in the deep freeze that she should be fine. I calculated that we had enough to last 11 days assuming that she eats 30oz a day. This is quite the stretch because I think in 24 hours she might go through 20 to 25 oz max.

Luckily the trip is only for the week. Granted I am going to try and take the time I have to catch up on a review I need to do and get a couple of other posts done. I return Friday night and I can already tell you that I will be very happy to see all of them and the return of Mac for the weekend!

Body after baby week 4- Do you snack?

2010-01-31T09:00:00.000-08:00

So this week’s topic is snacking and what is your favorite snack. So do I snack, in a word yes. I’ve found that snacking during the day and eating smaller meals I generally feel better about myself and what I eat. At work I keep snacks at my desk that are healthier than vending machine stuff or leftovers from meetings. Right now at my desk I have baked chips (to eat with lunch some days), 25% less sugar peanut butter chocolate chip granola bars, a couple of packets of hot chocolate (for the massive chocolate cravings, oatmeal and honey bunches of oats. I also keep crystal light drink mix and skim milk at my desk along with my coffee supplies. With all these things I still only snack or eat meals when I’m really hungry. My favorite snack though lately has been chips and salsa. I’ve been on quite the spicy food kick lately and that really satisfies the snack craving.

So this past week has been pretty good. I’m still logging all my food/ activity on fat secret and syncing it with my blackberry. I think the thing I like most is that I can put in all the activity I do during a day from sleeping, nursing, desk work ect. The program counts all of it and shows you how many calories you burn during a day vs how many calories you’ve consumed.

Since starting this I’ve been able to see how much I’ve lost. I normally weigh in twice a week before I go to work. I try and do it around the same time so that the conditions are the same each time. This week I weighed in on Sunday at 132.8 and when I weighed in Thursday morning I was down to 131.6. If I can keep this up I’ll reach my initial goal of getting down to 130 in a couple of weeks. After that my goal is to get down to 125lbs which is where I started before I got pregnant with Dot.

My goals for this week are pretty simple. I just want to stay on track and keep up with my food tracking. Also a side goal is to not manage to injure myself this week in our ice hockey scrimmage!

Changes

2010-01-31T08:52:00.000-08:00

So some of you have noticed the last post I did was a product review. Well I wanted to let people know that my blog is about to start changing slightly. I’ve been contacted by a couple of other companies about doing product reviews. I have accepted and they will be posted here in the coming months.

I will still be posting about how things are. I have a couple of posts in mind with more about the reverse roll family that we have and about current things going on (kids, school, hockey ect).

I’ll be getting to these posts when I get a chance. To be perfectly honest I do all these posts when I get a chance in my free time. I tend to do them during lunch at work or after the kids are in bed so at times they can be few and far between depending on how busy I am between work and home. So please bear with me in the coming weeks while I attempt to get things going again and get these posts done.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-01-27T01:00:00.000-08:00

My little hockey player in training.

Body after baby week 3. What motivates you.

2010-01-24T13:28:00.000-08:00

This week went by extremely fast once again. Between work and family I feel like I've been in constant motion.

The good news is I am still gradually loosing weight. I weighed in this morning at 132.8. Also even after I said I wasn't going to track everything I eat, W found a site that syncs with my blackberry called fat secret. I've been tracking everything for about the past week and I'm really surprised. I'm not getting really bent out of shape about the days I cheat and I still do just about everything in moderation. Doing this has really helped me with my portion control this week. I'm feeling pretty good about things and have only had problems with my body a few times this week.

Also this week was my first hockey scrimmage. Thankfully the coach matched up the beginners vs beginners and the advanced vs other advanced players. The game went really well and I felt after the first period that I was starting to remember things. After my first two shifts on the ice though I felt the pain. I was so out of breath and winded I thought that I was doomed. But that was the least of my worries. I ended up falling and nailing my tailbone twice during the game. By the end of the game I was still going but man was I sore. When I got home that night I told W that I broke my butt and all he could do was laugh!

So this week's question for body after baby over at Mama Notes was what motivates you. Well both my kids and husband motivate me. I want to show my kids a good example and also take care of my self to be there for W as well. I truely enjoy being active and playing most sports. Its important to me for the kids to see me as an active healthy mom.

Also this week's challenge was to do 30 minutes of excersize 5 to 6 days a week. So far I'm doing well. Most of mine gets broken up into 10 minutes at a time or so but I generally can get 30 minutes in every day just in smaller incriments.

Honeysuckle Breastmilk Storage Bags Review

2010-01-20T05:00:00.000-08:00

When I saw Melodie of Breastfeeding Mom’s Unite post a tweet about needing a pumping mom to review a new milk storage bag that is biodegradable I jumped at the chance.

I’ve talked on my blog before about my pumping situation. Right now I pump 3 times a day and normally get around 20oz and Dot normally only eats at most 12oz while I’m gone to the office. So basically I end up freezing one bag 4 to 5 days a week of about 8oz each.

After using these bags for a week I really can't find anything I didn't like. They have a tamper evident tear off seal, a large opening at the mouth and a double zipper at the top to prevent leaks. The write on tab is quite large which is very nice. One other thing is the texture of the write on tab. I write the date with a permanent marker and the tab seemed to help the ink dry quickly to reduce smearing once in the deep freeze.

The other thing I noticed about the bag was the reinforced bottom. The bottom portion of the bag where it folds in has what looks to be an extra layer of plastic. This is where I have seen leaks in the past during the thawing process.

I did what I thought was a good test of the bag. On Sunday I put about 8oz of milk in the bag and dated it like normal then put it in the deep freezer. On Thursday night I brought it back out and did a quick thaw under cold running water.

The bag shows markers for the amount in it and I purposely filled it fuller than expected to really test it. I am happy to report that we had no leaks at all during the thawing process. The bag held up very well after being in the bottom of my deep freezer for the week.

Overall I was very happy with the bags and the opportunity to review them. the bags worked well and I really had no complaints at all. They can be purchased from Amazon.com and the company is working to get them on store shelves soon.

Body after baby week 2

2010-01-17T17:20:00.000-08:00

This week was very busy between work and family. Dot decided to do a bottle strike and her reflux has been really bad! So needless to say this will be a short post.

While I didn't get on the Wii fit as much as I would have like (meaning not at all after Sunday), I did continue to do mini work outs at work.

Also I started hockey back this week. It was great to see everyone again. When we split up to start practice I voluntarily went with the beginners after being out of practice for 9 months. After a few minutes I remembered how much fun it was. Granted we were working on basics but I really enjoyed it. By the end of the hour and a half I was soaked in sweat and generally feeling that I got a good work out. Next week is going to be the real test when we scrimmage for an hour and a half. This will definitely be a test of my cardio endurance.

Also we have skate with the Chargers this week. I know Butters will have a great time seeing all the guys again and it is one hell of a work out for me trying to hold up a 40lb 2 year old on the ice!

Now to address the question of the week. What is your favorite part of your workout? My favorite part is right after I stretch out and really get into it. The endorphins start to flow and I just tend to really get into it.

Body after baby week 1

2010-01-09T08:41:00.001-08:00

Week one of body after baby went pretty well. I stepped on the scale today and one pound is gone.

On the exercise front I was able to work out on the Wii fit a few times this week plus increase the mini workouts that I do at the office. I mainly do squats and leg lifts while I pump since I have nothing else to do during that time. Plus I spend most of my day sitting at a computer so it always helps wake me up a little to get up and get moving in some small way. Due to the really cold weather we have had lately I haven’t been walking during lunch. I can’t wait til it warms up a little more and we can start walking again.

On Thursday I start practicing with the women's hockey team again and I’m really excited. I know I’m going to be really sore and tired come Friday but it should be a lot of fun to put all the gear on and lace up my skates once again.

My desk at work is stocked with healthy items such as baked lays (so I can stay away from the vending machine chips), oatmeal, special K granola and Archer Farms triple berry granola bars. The Archer Farms bars are just sweet enough and have a good bit of fiber and protein in them which helps me feel like I’m eating something more substancial.Well this week went pretty well. I stepped on the scale and one pound is gone.
On the exercise front I was able to work out on the Wii fit a few times this week plus increase the mini workouts that I do at the office. I mainly do squats and leg lifts while I pump since I have nothing else to do during that time. Plus I spend most of my day sitting at a computer so it always helps wake me up a little to get up and get moving in some small way. Due to the really cold weather we have had lately I haven’t been walking during lunch. I can’t wait til it warms up a little more and we can start walking again.
On Thursday I start practicing with the women’s hockey team again and I’m really excited. I know I’m going to be really sore and tired come Friday but it should be a lot of fun to put all the gear on and lace up my skates once again.
My desk at work is stocked with healthy items such as baked lays (so I can stay away from the vending machine chips), oatmeal, special K granola and Archer Farms triple berry granola bars. The Archer Farms bars are just sweet enough and have a good bit of fiber and protein in them which helps me feel like I’m eating something more substantial.

My hypoglycemia has been ok. Monday and Tuesday were bad. I just couldn’t seem to get control of it. Gradually I am getting better but some days are just really difficult. I try and snack before I feel it get really bad.

So far though so good. I'm happy with my progress and I know the ares that I need to work on.

NICU x2

2010-01-07T13:08:00.000-08:00

How many parents know how it feels to have their baby only minutes old be taken away to the NICU? How many with their second have the exact same thing happen? These questions have been on my mind lately.

When I was pregnant with Butters I remember sitting in childbirth class and watching the video of the NICU. All I wanted to do was cry the entire time. I just thought that things were going so well with the pregnancy that there was little chance we would end up there.

I vividly remember Butter's birth. When I went into labor I was 37 weeks pregnant and so close to full term that we and my OB thought things would be fine. He said there was a slight chance of respiratory issues, but the chances were pretty low. Only minutes after he was born I was still in shock and he had barely let out a cry. I was told by a nurse within a couple of minutes that they were going to take him to the NICU for further observation. Luckily W got to bring him to me and let me see him before he walked with the nurse up to the NICU. Then about an hour later we got the call that he would be there for 4 days minimum. The 4 days turned into 7 before he finally got to come home.

Fast forward 2.5 years. I was pregnant with Dot and having constant contractions. I was on meds to stop labor and yet they kept coming. All of this started at around 28 weeks. We were so focused on getting as far as we could to give her the best shot at not having to go to the NICU like her big brother. Finally at 37 weeks and 1 day I was admitted to the hospital to finally let nature take its course after having contractions the night before. We were told so many times that girls do much better so we didn't think there was any reason to worry. After she was born she did cry, but the NICU was called for a consult. Once again my child was taken from me. And once again about 2 hours after she was born I got the call in my room that she was being admitted. I remember the neonatologist said that they did everything they could but she was following in her brother’s footsteps.

A couple of days into Dot’s stay I got to talk to Dr. Morris as he made his rounds. He told me that the studies are still being reported on, but it looks like if the first baby has respiratory distress like Butter’s did, that the chances of a sibling having are in the 80 to 90% range. He even said that there was another baby in the NICU that the exact same thing happened to his/her older sibling.

When your child is in the NICU there aren’t the normal visitors of friends and family for the most part. When Dot was born we did have W’s family come up and another good friend, but that was it. For me the biggest support with both kids was W and the nurses and lactation consultants at the hospital. The one we had at night with Dot was wonderful. One night she stayed in the room and just talked about things with us. Because sometimes after a situation like that you just need someone who has been there / done that kind of thing. There was also the lactation consultant came by one day before I headed down to the NICU. Her words of encouragement were priceless and just the fact that she came by to make sure I was ok not physically but emotionally. She talked for just a few minutes before giving me a hug and reassuring me that I was doing everything right for my baby girl. Another group that was a huge help were the women on a local breastfeeding message board run by the owner of A Nurturing Moment. She herself is a lactation consultant and answered my questions and just made herself available if needed. The other members were also wonderful in offering their support.

Having both in the NICU within 2.5 years of each other brought out the best and worst in W and I. Many times we were just mad and generally angry at the turn of events. But even through it all I think it made us stronger.

To this day I still feel guilty. I know I did everything I could but the guilt is still there. All I wanted was to bring one of them home when I was discharged. I wanted to room in, but of course that didn’t happen. I remember crying in the middle of the night while W was asleep. I kept hearing babies down the hall and it just tore me up inside.

I have no clue what spurred me to write this post. I’ve had these thoughts in my head for some time but struggled to ever write them down.

I guess in some way I hope that someone will read this at some point who is either going/ been through something similar. I hope that it shows them that they are not alone even though that’s exactly the way it feels.

Body after Baby Challenge

2009-12-30T14:43:00.000-08:00

So I've decided to do the Body After Baby Challenge since Elli was officially our last and I really need to loose the weight. I'm not making excuses as to why after 3 months I'm not back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Right now I weigh 135lbs which most people would say isn't bad at all for my 5'4" frame. Ultimately I would like to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight of 125 but for this challenge my goal is to loose 5lbs.

Other goals for this challenge are:

To get my hypoglycemia under control. Right now with nursing for some reason most days I don't feel really good or in control of my blood sugar. The odd thing is I seem to do better when I'm at work rather than at home. Its something I have struggled with for a long time and I really want to get a better control over it and how my body handles food.
Get more exercise. During the week a co-worker and I spend half an hour walking which is really good or at least I think so. Also on January 14th I am going to start playing ice hockey again. I would love to start going to the gym in our apartment but in all honesty the only time I have to do that is early in the morning and most of the time I would go to the gym I'm awake with Elli.
Better control my portion size. At times I loose focus (especially at dinner) and have portions that are way too big. I would like to focus on getting them back under control. Also I need to make sure my snacking portions during the day stay in check.

So starting in January I'm not making resolutions since I never keep them, more just working toward a goal to get healthier for myself and my kids. Its an on going process and I figure taking small steps such as this can help along the path.

This is how I looked before being pregnant this last time and its my goal to get back to that.

A better version can be seen here.

Oh and many others are doing a daily food journal. While I will post the +/- on my weight I will not be keeping a detailed food journal. A few years back I had major problems with weight loss and lost a good bit too quickly. I became obsessed with what I ate and ended up with an eating disorder. To maintain my sanity and mental health I will not be keeping a food journal but more looking at just eating healthy and controlling portion size.

Elli 3 months old

2009-12-29T13:50:00.000-08:00

Well she is 12 weeks old this week. She is starting to sit in her Bumbo seat more and more and prefers that over tummy time. She has also become quite the talker. She loves gto lay in bed with me at night and talk until she falls asleep. Right now I'm guessing she is around 12.5 lbs and has probably grown about .5 to 3/4 of an inch. She is now starting to fit into 3 month clothes and most all of her 0-3 month clothes as well.

She is sleeping pretty good now. Normally she goes to bed around 9 or 9:30 and sleeps until between 2 and 4am then eats and goes back to sleep for about another hour or two. During the day she tends to stay up for 2 hours, take a 2 to 3 hour nap then back up again.

The only thing is her reflux is still getting the best of her some days. You can just see it on her face when its bad. Also she spits up a lot when it gets bad. The worst thing on her is that after she eats we have to hold her upright anywhere between 20 and 30 minutes then we can lay her in a swing or rocking chair. If anyone has any experience in other things to do to help her please let me know.I think we have it down but I'm always open to ways to make it better for her.

Elli 2 months old

2009-12-06T05:15:00.001-08:00

Elliot turned 2 months old this week and had her pediatrician appointment. And the stats are:

11lbs 2 oz

22.5 inches long

She is in the 25^th percentile for both at the moment but no worries. We constantly joke at home that it took 3 kids for W to make a small one with hair.

She is really starting to show more of a personality now. She recognizes us more and responds to our voice. She also is more interested in playing and swatting at toys hanging above in her swing or bouncy seat. She also seems to think she has more head control than she really does and tends to want to flop around all over the place when she is on our shoulder being burped.

We found out shortly before I returned to work that she had reflux. She’s been on medication for a few weeks now and doing much better. Its so good to not see her in pain every time she eats.

Speaking of eating she is taking about 3 to 4 bottles while I’m gone of 4oz at a time. I’m pumping plenty at work and keeping up with her but yet I am still concerned about my supply. Just to be on the safe side I eat oatmeal almost every morning since its known to help with milk production.

Butters is doing well with her too. He recently started trying to give her a bottle when she gets upset. Also he will lay down on the floor and say “I love baby”, but will not call her Elli for anything. He will read the name, but won’t call her by her name. We think he knows and just wants to be stubborn. No surprise there. He does though however have a very bad habit of bringing us his empty cup or bowl and asking for something right when one of us sits down to feed her.

And now for the pictures. I apologize for the poor quality. My camera died a few weeks ago and I am taking all of these with my Blackberry. W did just get me an early birthday present so hopefully I can get a few with the new camera and post here soon.

Returning to work

2009-12-06T05:05:00.000-08:00

On November 16^th I returned to the office after my 6 week maternity leave. With Butters I was very torn on coming back, but with Elli not so much. I guess this time I just had a better handle on how things would work and more confidence that we could do all of this. Still the morning I left part of me just felt bad. This would be the first day that she was on a bottle all day. I had no clue how much she would eat while I was gone. I left what I thought would be enough pumped milk in the refrigerator at home and told W that there was frozen bags in the freezer incase she powered through all of it.

Now returning to work this time was a little easier in one respect. When I went back after Butters was born I was determined to nurse as long as possible, but there was no place for me to pump at work except the bathroom. So up until the day I was laid off I pumped 3 times a day in the handicap stall. I had a metal folding chair in there but it was still not ideal at all. I would routinely have women come in and get irritated that I was in there pumping. My pump wasn’t really loud, but for some reason it bothered them that I did that. When I got hired at Sikorsky I did something similar because I honestly thought that if I raised questions with HR that something would happen to me.

That all changed when I went to the home office. There they actually have a lactation room that you can schedule with in outlook. The room is equipped with a chair, small couch microwave (for steam cleaning), sink, and small refrigerator. I was extremely impressed! So this time when I found out I was pregnant I asked at my office what could be done and was basically given the brush off and told the bathroom again. After talking to W and a local nursing mom’s group I decided to contact HR and ask if there could be some kind of arrangement made. Luckily since the laws up there are different than here (and better) the HR representative told me that they would help me. When I returned I was informed that one of the unused offices had blinds put up and I could go in there and pump and lock the door.

Since returning this has been great!! I pump 3 times a day and I’m not on an exact time schedule. I generally pump somewhere around 0630, 0930 and 1230 then head home around 1500. The door has a basic lock on it and I’ve never been bothered by anyone regarding the 10 to 15 minutes I’m gone to pump. When I’m done I transfer all the milk to a large container and take the parts to the bathroom to be rinsed out. I’m happy to say that at this point in 3 pumping sessions I’m getting somewhere between 18 and 20 oz a day and she is eating between 12 and 16 a day while I’m gone. This allows for some of the milk to be frozen every week.

So in general things are going well and its been good to get back to work and on somewhat of a schedule again.

1 month old

2009-11-05T18:50:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting to do so many posts lately but they always come to me in the middle of the night while I'm nursing Elli or other wise trying to get us both to sleep.

She turns one month old today and its gone by really quick like I know it would. She is sleeping around 3 hours at a stretch during the day and between 1.5 and 3 hours at a time at night. We have gotten her to take a bottle which is great since I will be going back to work on the 16th and we needed to know about how much she would be eating at a time.

Nursing this time around has been easier with her than with Butters but its still had its challenges. With Butters I never knew about the cluster nursing at 1.5 to 2 weeks. There are times right now where she will nurse off and on for anywhere between 3 and 6 hours with only a 20 minute nap in between. These are the times I'm glad that I got rid of all the formula we were given in the hospital. During her last marathon session we did how ever give her a bottle of pumped milk from that morning.

I have kept pumping at different times during the day so that we have plenty stored up for when I go back to work. Right now we have around 15 bags of 7oz a piece stored in the deep freezer.

Speaking of pumping I was able to work something out with my situation at work. There is an open office that apparently has a privacy curtain that can be pulled across the window that I will be allowed to use. This is a huge improvement from having to pump in the bathroom. The only down side is that I will have to use quick clean wipes between pumping sessions and if there is an executive in town I will have to work around that schedule but luckily I will not be made to go to the bathroom and pump which is a huge relief.

Having the time off has been nice but I'm ready to go back. I'm not exactly one to stay home and take it easy. I'll be going back to the office on the 9th to get my free flu shot then back full time on the 16th. The odd thing is I had already scheduled my vacation for the next week so that I am off the week of Thanksgiving! W is really ready to get me out of his house and will be relieved to have a week with just him and the kids.

At her last visit to the pediatrician she gained a full pound in 10 days and she was 25 percentile in weight and 50 percentile in length. This week I was able to weight her and at a month old she is just over 9lbs and has gotten much longer!

So here are some pictures of things over the past month including halloween and her first hockey game series.

Finally sleeping in her bed. She doesn't do it often right now. Normally she sleeps on one of us or in the swing.

Content with her paci on the changing table.

Halloween shirt.

Sleeping through a hockey game just like big brother used to.

Where she normally ends up at night on my chest.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-11-04T18:34:00.000-08:00

After a morning at a Rocket City Slingers meet up I got a lot of help with how to use my ring sling with Dot. As you can see Butters had to get in on the action as well!

The Grunt heard round the world...the second go around

2009-10-12T07:46:00.000-07:00

The birth of Elliot was in some ways ironic and similar to her brother's two and a half years ago.

Things all started last Sunday Oct 4th. We spent the morning watching the UAH hockey team's open practice at the iceplex. I actually really enjoyed walking around with Butters and watching his fascination with the defensemen's practice. He was so involved that he wouldn't watch the forwards practice at all.

After the practice we ran a couple of errands and grabbed a late lunch on the way home. The contractions had been off and on all morning but around 1400 they started getting more painful and closer together. They stayed like this until around 1700 when they tapered off. W went ahead and made dinner but I didn't feel like eating at all. Around 1800 they picked back up and around 1830 I called my ob's office. The on call doc said to go on in to L&D. We packed up the car and called my mother in law to come get Butters from the hospital. Once back in L&D the nurse checked me and hooked me up to the monitors. Contractions were every 1.5 to 2 min apart and strong. I was bout 2.5 cm and 50% and -1 station. After an hour I hadn't progressed at all so the on call doctor gave the order for me to leave and come back when things got more intense. I was once again crushed and annoyed. I wasn't allowed to walk around and help things but made to stay in bed.

When we got home I tried taking a warm bath which didn't help much at all. I tried sitting up and rocking which helped just a little. Laying down was the worst and finally aroun 0030 I was able to get my body to relax enough toget a little sleep. I woke up about every hour from strong contractions. Being the stubborn individual that I am when my alarm went off around 0430 I decided to go ahead and get up and go into the office. I had a doctor's appt at 0915 that morning and thought that maybe working on things would take my mind off of what was going on. I got to the office around 0530, moved the small refrigerator that was in a common area with the guys to under my desk and got to work. Surprisingly being pissed off Igot a lot of work done that morning. I did feel really nauseated and tried to just eat some oatmeal which made me even sicker. I finally caved in and sent W a text message asking him to come get me and take me to the appt. By this point the nausea was bad and any kind of touching of my belly really hurt.

Once in the office my doctor went ahead and checked me and I was 3 to 4, -1 and 50% effaced but very soft. I told him everything that had gone on and his response was that he completely saw how I was feeling so bad and could feel me having contractions. He then asked if we wanted to hve her today. We were a little shocked to say the least. I got dressed and we met him in his office. He went ahed and called over to L&D to tell them we were on our way. We drove over and on the way I called work and family to let everyone know that we would have her by later that afternoon or early evening.

When we got to the room IV's were started and monitors attached. I was still having contractions regularly. They were about 1.5 minutes apart and alternating strength. I would have one big one followed closely by one strong one. The order was given for a low dosage of pitocin to be given to help them become consistantly stronger. I was started on the lowest dose and about 45 minutes later my ob came in to break my water. About an hour after this the contractions were to the point that I could no longer talk through them and had to turn the tv off. They were about every minute and really starting to hurt more and more. Soon after I reached this point the anasthesiologist came in to give me an epidural. It took very quickly and the only small problem was my left hip was still in a lot of pain. After rolling 45 deg to my left the pain subsided and I sat up in bed to better help my body to what it needed to do.

This is where things got interesting. About 10 minutes after sitting up I said something to W about feeling a lot more pressure. Like everythng else I thought it was nothing and just figured it was her getting lower. My nurse came in followed by my ob who decided that they needed to check again. Good thing they did because when he checked I was on the verge of her crowning. He quickly changed while the nurse set things up. She had me do one practice push with a contraction and quickly told me told me to stop and not push anymore until my doctor was ready! I rested through couple while they finished getting ready and 2 contractions later at 4pm weighing in at 6lbs 15 oz and 19.5 inches long Elliot Avery was born. She had a head of hair and was a little slow to cry.

She was taken over to the warmer and dried off and that is where the nightmare began. I heard the same words I had heard 2.5 years ago. She's grunting. Great. They continued to work with her and got her crying good but the grunt was still there. The NICU was called for a consult and the decision was made to take her to the NICU for obersvation. Luckily I was allowed to hold her for a few minutes. I was in complete amazement of how tiny she was. Then W took her and followed the nurse up to the NICU.

I was patched and cleaned up and after what felt like an eternity as my nurse was taking me up to the 5th floor W returned. The nurses were hopeful that she would be with us soon so we really weren't too worried. After getting set up in the room at 1930 I got the call from Dr. Dworsky. She was being admitted. They tried everything they could but the grunt was still there. At this point I was hysterical to say the least. All I wanted was to room in with her and have her be healthy and once again she wasn't.

At 2000 we went to go see her. I have to admit she looked really good compared to how Alvin did. I got to hold her and the nurse went over everything. She was amazed at how much we remembered. An old friend from Space Camp now working there came over to see us. The NICU was a bad place but it helped knowing someone working up there. Far too soon it was time for us to go so we left our little girl. Luckily when we made our way down the next morning we got wonderful news that she had already been moved to the progressive side. Apparently she screamed all night and the grunt completely went away.

Over the next few days there were highs and lows. We were told many different dates about when she would go home and how many rounds of antibiotoics she was being given. I broken down many times during it all. I was mad, frustrated and just genearlly depressed that she wasn't with me. I was discharged on Wednesday and continued to go to every care time barring the midnight and 4am ones. Thursday morning I got the news that her weight had dropped 4oz in one day and she had jandice. I fed her pumped breast milk in a bottle and she was wrapped in a billi blanket for 12 horus.

On Friday we got the best news yet. I had been told the day before that there was a possibility she would go home. At the 8am care time I was sitting beside her bassinet feeding her a bottle when the neonatologist made rounds. Her bilirubin had went down and they were ready to discharge her! I waited to call W and tell him until I spoke with Dr. Dworsky personally. He was impressed that given the news the day before I already had her a pediatrician visit ready and said that she was ready to go home.

The next 2 hours went by so slowly. I ran outside the NICU and called W. He was of course also thrilled to be having his "little peanut" coming home. While I waited I sat and just held her, and slowly got her dressed to visit the outside world for the first time. Finally it was time for discharge and after signing the paperwork I pulled the car up and packed up her and all of the clothes, bags ect and headed to the doctors office.

Her peditirican was happy with her. At that point she had lost 5oz but he said it was to be expected. His only concern was her jaundice but he gave us instructions to keep her in sunlight when we could and call if we noticed her being more yellow.

The days that have followed have been sleepless but very good. She nurses wonderfully and sleeps around 3 hours at a time then wakes to nurse and nurses for about an hour off and on. Duing the day she sleeps great in her bassinet but after her 1 to 2am feeding only wants to sleep on my chest. I can't argue too much though. I can deal with that as long as she is home now.

I've been posting pictures on my flickr site that you can see here.

Today she turns one week old and I am very happy that I've found the time to tell her story even though it was a much longer post than I expected.

Elliot Avery is here!

2009-10-06T04:08:00.000-07:00

The entire story of her arrival will have to wait until later but I wanted to do a quick post to update what has happened.

She was born yesterday at 4pm weighing in at 6lbs 15oz and 19.5 inches long with a head full of hair. She came out screaming but the NICU was called for a consult due to grunting. She was taken to the NICU and W was told that she would probably be down with us later that night. At 7:30pm we got the news we dreaded. She was being admitted because the grunt would not subside. We went down to see her at 8pm and I was amazed at how good she looked compared to Butters when he was there. We spent about an hour there holding her and talking to her. Also we are very fortunate to have a friend we previously worked with at Space Camp working nights in the NICU. Elli was very responsive to everything we did and our voices which was great.

This morning I woke up early and went to go see her again. To our surprise she has already been moved to the progressive side of the NICU. The nurse was confident that she would get to start bottle feeding today which is great news.

Right now it looks like she will be here until sometime on Thursday at the earliest while we will go home on Wednesday.

I'll be posting more on twitter later today as we get more news but I wanted to try and summarize things here really quick.

Thank you for all the well wishes and I will post more in a couple of days on this site once we get more information.

Here's a link to a picture W took last night just so you can get an idea of how she looks now.
Elli

36 weeks No news is good news right?

2009-09-28T16:38:00.000-07:00

So after our little scare going to L&D for the night I’ve been laying low. I had another weekly appointment last Monday and today.

Last week my OB checked me and said I was 2cm and 50%. This was kind of irritating after I was told in L&D that I was 3 and 75%. He brought up the meds and said to stay on them for a while longer. Granted he says this after the day before we went and walked around Bridge Street and I was really hurting later that night. After talking to W about it all we decided that I would stop taking the meds. They were causing more side effects and they were getting worse.

So it’s been a week and I seriously think I’ve had fewer contractions off the meds than I did on them. On Sunday I didn’t even feel one. This is after I took Butters to Rainbow Mountain and we went exploring on a hiking trail and played on the playground for about an hour. Also that morning I took the infant swing out of his closet which meant removing the crib pieces and the hanging organizer. After all this activity during the day all I felt was a little tired that night. No major cramps or anything.

So today I went back for another weekly appointment. The stats so far are:
My BP 130/70 ( a little high for me)
Her HR 137 (a little lower than normal for her)
Weight 157lbs
My doctor checked again and I’m about the same as last week. I asked him about her size since at this point with Butters he was worried about his size. He said she is pretty small still and measuring a couple of weeks behind. He said in a couple of weeks she might be around Butters birth weight but at the moment not even close.

He would like me to hold out one more week but at this point we are in the clear if I go into labor on my own. He wants to see me again in a week or as he put it “I’ll see you in a week assuming you make it that far”.

I’m trying to not get my hopes up. We’ve spent the last few months on edge about when she would arrive. Now it is officially a waiting game.

I’m going to end this post on a positive note. We have now officially reached the point where our chances of seeing the NICU are very small with her. Boys born at this point still have a good chance, but girls tend to do much better. The running joke is that if she doesn’t end up in the NICU W and I will be kind of lost and not sure what to think. We know how the NICU works but being discharged with her will be a very welcome but odd adventure.

Anyway things are still good and we are all just anxious to meet her.

34 weeks going to Labor and Delivery and Antepartum Units

2009-09-18T14:46:00.000-07:00

So let me start by saying earlier this week I was having a lot of prelabor. Meaning I was up half the night with contractions that were between 4 and 7 minutes apart but not getting any stronger. Thursday at work things started to pick up a little but I still thought nothing of it. Finally round noon I called W and said I might need him to come get me if things didn't calm down. At this point the contractions were between 4 and 5 minutes apart. Well I guess I just got used to them until about 2 when they started getting between 2 and 3 minutes apart. At 2:30pm I decided I needed to go home. I called W and told him I was on my way.

I got home and even after laying down they were steady. So I called my OB's office and they said to go onto L&D. We left around 3:30 after getting the last few things together. Once we got to the hospital we checked in and were taken back to a room. After being hooked up to monitors there was no doubt that I was in labor. The contractions were coming about 1.5 minutes a part. They were varying in intensity but felt pretty uncomfortable to me. When I was checked I was 3cm, 70%effaced and -2 station.

The on call doctor came in to talk to me while W took Butters out and told me they were going to do what they could to stop the contractions and after a couple of hours re-evaluate. I was given a shot of terbutaline and an IV was started. The terbutaline did very little and once my bloodwork came back I was given procardia again. After a little while longer the nurses did shift change and my new nurse came in and gave us the news. The on call doctor wanted to keep me over night in the antepartum unit and give me a cocktail of terbutaline, procardia and ambien to help me sleep and see if I progressed any further.

So we were taken to the new room around 2030. The nurse there was shocked I never ate dinner and grabbed me a sandwhich before I had to take my meds.

Ok let me say this. Ambien was no fun. I'm not sure how much I got but after about 5 minutes I started seeing double and passed out. Not my kind of drug.

The rest of the night was filled with having to constantly get up to go to the bathroom due to all the fluids they were pumping into me and having to call my nurse to reset the pump. Where the IV was placed in my arm cause the pump to go nuts everytime I bent it.

Around 0800 this morning I was checked again and had made no progress so they decided to send me home. More procardia was given and I was told to make an appointment with my normal OB very early in the week next week. I have an appointment Monday morning assuming I don't end up back in the hospital.

The last thing the OB on call told me was that he didn't think it would be much longer.

So we are home now. The procardia is having about the same effect it did in the hospital. I still have contractions about every 8 to 10 minutes. Now though I have developed the lovely problem of very bad low back pain. The only way to describe this as gross as it may seem is like being very consitpated and you can not go. The pain comes and goes but is pretty constant all the time. I have no appetite and have to remind myself that I need to eat at times.

I'm incredibly frustrated and I am doing all I can to just tell W how I feel and not take it all out on him or Butters. I'm frustrated with this mess that keeps happening. I hate being on drugs and developing a tolerace to them and people not believing me. I hated being discharged today without having held her in my arms.

So now we wait again. Right now I just keep thinking about what the on call doctor said to keep me going. It won't be too much longer and I really hope he was right.

33 week stats

2009-09-10T17:29:00.000-07:00

So I went for my appointment today and here is what I found out.

weight 156lbs
blood pressure 116/70
Dot's heart rate 151 bpm (normal for her)
She is measuring right at 33 weeks

My doctor wanted to go ahead and do an internal exam this week due to all the contractions, cramps and pressure I have been having this week. Here's the verdict:
70% effaced
1.5cm dilated

When I heard this I had to go back and look at where I was with Butter's at 36 weeks:
2cm dilated
50% effaced
We found this out on Thursday and he was born on Sunday.

So what does it all mean for Dot? Well it could mean nothing other than my body is preparing for labor. Or if she follows the same pattern that Butters did it could be fairly soon. Also it turns out that she had one major growth spurt these past 2 weeks and dropped in the process.

As far as when things will really pick up, we don't know. My doctor said that at this point if I have steady contractions 7 minutes apart for 30 minutes to go ahead and call. She said to go ahead and have our bags ready just incase.

So now we wait. When my doctor left the room today she said that she would see me next week if not sooner. I still have to rest as much as I can. I have an appointment scheduled for next Friday if I make it that far.

So that's about it for now. If something major happens in the next week it will more than likely be on twitter before I get a chance to post it here, but I will post an update as soon as I can.

Frustration

2009-09-08T16:49:00.000-07:00

That’s about the only word I can use to describe how I felt this past weekend. I’m not frustrated at W, Mac or Butters, but more with things that keep happening with this pregnancy.

I know the longer she stays put the better, but this past weekend really continued to test my patience.

For the past 3 days, I’ve had contractions off and on. I’m not talking about just Braxton hicks, but real ones. They come between every 10 and 15 minutes for a couple of hours then stop. This happens normally about 3 times a day.

So when I get them I do what I’ve been told to do to stop them. Rest, eat something and drink plenty of fluids. I do this and they get worse but when I’m just a little dehydrated or hungry I don’t get them at all.

Between those and the waves of nausea that hit for no reason it was a rough weekend for me. The nausea is normally triggered by the smell of cooking food which just seems really odd. At times it feels like the same mess that happened in my first trimester is happening again.

I’m at the point where I am emotionally spent right now. I can’t seem to trust the signals my body is giving me anymore. I’m tired of feeling the contractions get closer and thinking we might end up in the hospital just to have them die off. Its exhausting to have them at work and still try and concentrate on what I need to do while getting up a few dozen times to deal with them.

Ok sorry for yet another post where I complain but I just had to vent yet again.

33 Weeks

2009-09-07T10:42:00.000-07:00

So we had another appointment at 31 weeks but nothing much changed so I didn’t do a post about it. Things are still about the same. He increased the frequency of my medication, which has caused more side effects. Due to the increased amount of the drug in my system, my feet stay really red and swollen. Other than that, he wants me to stay on the med until 36 weeks. The longer she stays put the better our chances are of limited intervention after her birth actually are.

I think the medication though is losing its effectiveness. I still have contractions break through during the day and more at night. I’m averaging about one strong one an hour. Also, these are getting to the point where sometimes I can’t just sit down in my chair at work and get through them. I have to get up and walk around or do something else to get through them.

One thing did happen this past week. I felt her drop and even W could feel the change in position of her. She is down very low and at this point I feel like things could start at any time. I mean it could be 3 days from now or 3 weeks, but we just don’t know.

This past week I finally got all the paperwork squared away for my maternity leave. Last time that I had it all done Butters decided to make his arrival a couple of days later. Hopefully getting all this done isn’t a sign to Dot to do the same thing.

So right now mine and Butters bag’s are packed. W hasn’t packed his bag, but he proved last time that it will take him all of 10 minutes to pack his clothes and the electronics we will need.

Now we are officially in a waiting game. There are baby showers planned for us on the 12th and 13th and hopefully we will make it to those! My next appointment is this week with my nurse practitioner since my doctor will be out of town. Hopefully she will be able to give us some good news such as I’m not progressing like I feel like I am and how big Dot is now.

We still think about the possibilities of her ending up in the NICU due to being born early. W and I were talking about it one night this past week after someone said something to me at work about it and we figured out how feel about it all. We are both just numb to it at this point. We both know that the chances are good that she will end up there for a little while, but we still hope for the best. If she does have to go to the NICU we know what to expect and we know what it will take mentally, emotionally and physically to deal with it. We joke that if she does get to room in with us it will be shocking!

Cloth Diapering- Our Stash So Far

2009-08-31T13:48:00.000-07:00

This is a post I’ve been thinking about doing for a while but finding the time (and motivation) to actually write it has been a problem.

I recently bought the last of what I am going to buy of the cloth diapers until after Dot arrives. I was talking to someone at work about my latest purchase off diaperswappers she was asking about why I didn’t just buy everything brand new. I got to thinking about it and I came up with a couple of reasons.

First off if you ask W he will tell you one thing. I am cheap. He made the comment one time that he thought when they give you an engineering degree you automatically become very cheap. The truth of it is that I have bought a lot of these diapers used and have been able to make minor repairs for very little. Things like sewing on new aplix tabs and putting on snaps don’t cost much. It just takes me getting the motivation to do it all at night when my exhaustion level has hit its high point of the day.

The second reason is that some of these things are expensive at first. As much as I love the BumGenius and Happy Heiny diapers one of them costs between $17 and $18. The upfront costs add up so I started doing daily searches of craigslist.com and diaperswappers.com to see what was available. In addition, I found a good online store moms milk boutique that does free shipping and recently started stocking “pre-loved cloth diapers.” Now this might sound a little odd or gross, but when I get these in they get washed like the other diapers and also stripped (adding a little bleach to the wash cycle and an extra rinse). I have yet to have a problem with doing this so far.

So after thinking about all this I totaled up what I’ve spent on all of these things so far. The cost was right around $315. This includes:
5 BumGenius 3.0’s ( new)
4 Happy Heiny’s (used off craigslist)
20 Bum Genius 2.0’s used (needed new aplix which was free from the manufacturer)
1 Bummi’s wet bag (came with the Happy Heiny’s)
6 Babyland (used.All with snaps)
12 Gerber 3 ply prefolds (new)
24 Gerber flat fold diapers (new)
1 snappi (new)
6 Gerber 6 ply prefolds (new)
2 large thirsties covers (new)
1 size 2 thirsties duo cover (new)
2 size 1 thirsties duo covers (new)
1 Bummi’s organic prefold (used)

I was pretty impressed when I actually looked at how much I got for around $315. I then went and took a good estimate of what everything would have cost brand new. Here is where the shock came in to play. I looked and if I had bought all of these new, the total would have been $760! This amounted to a savings of around $480. For this cost I now feel that we have enough diapers and supplies for baby Dot and Butters together.

We do still occasionally buy disposable diapers. W tends to want to use disposables at night and when he is out, which is fine with me. Generally doing this we go through one box of size 6 Huggies every 2 months, which is far better than going through a box every 2 weeks! For me this is an acceptable compromise considering the overall cost savings.

Also, to make life easier on all of us when I go into the hospital to have Dot we will be packing disposables with Butters then too. Partially because the people keeping Butters aren’t too familiar with them yet and because I don’t want to come home and have to do a load of diapers right away.

So all in all I’m pretty happy with the stash so far. I know that when Dot arrives we will find more of what works and what doesn’t with an infant but for the moment I am happy with what we have and feel prepared for her arrival.

Now for some pictures!

Drawer with prefolds, flats, and covers for both Butters and Dot.

W's drawer. I make sure is always stocked with BumGenius diapers with Imse Vimse Liners inside the pockets ready to go.

Overflow drawer for Butters.

Dot's drawer with everything sized all the way down ready for her arrival.

29 weeks and more mixed news

2009-08-15T17:10:00.001-07:00

I’ve had a couple of people ask me about what is going on with all the things I’ve posted on twitter so I am going to attempt to put it all here.

This week started out fine. Monday when I went to work I had a couple of contractions off and on, but lately that’s been about the norm. We had an all hands meeting at noon where they provided lunch. Normally this statement would be pointless, but as we were sitting there I felt 2 stronger than normal contractions. They subsided and I ate lunch (Domino’s pizza). Later I kept feeling them along with feeling nauseated. I just figured it was the pizza not agreeing with me and didn’t worry. Around 2:30 pm they still hadn’t stopped so I called my doctor’s office. I told the nurse what was going on and she said that I needed to go home and take 5mg terbutaline and try and rest. So I tried to do what she said as much as I could with a 2.5 year old who wants to play. The contractions were every 10 minutes or so even on the terbutaline and finally around 8:30 that night they started to subside and I got some sleep. I was then woken up at 3:30am with more so my night of sleep was cut quite short.

I went into my doctors office on Tuesday and when the nurse saw me she asked what was wrong and I told her. So she goes ahead and does the normal checks. When she gets to Dot’s heart rate it was much higher than it should be (170’s) so she stood there monitoring me for a few minutes and eventually the heart rate went down and then back up. She said it was most likely from the contractions.

So when my OB came in once again he seemed very concerned. I talked to him about what happened the night before and what was going on. He checked me again and I’m the same as last time (fingertip dilated but cervix is still high and thick) which is good. After talking for a few minutes we came to a verdict:
1.change of medication from terbutaline to procardia that I take every 8 hours around the clock.
2.I will take the medication like this until I hit 34 weeks. At that point if I go into labor he won’t stop me.
3.not on bed rest, but limited activity. So no more walks at lunch and I have to take it easy. He did ask if he needed to take me off work which I told him no to since I have a desk job and I don’t really do anything strenuous. Basically the last thing I’m really allowed to do is the Swim for Melissa this weekend but after that is over I have to come home and rest for a while.

So now the new goal is to make it to 34 weeks not 36 weeks. He has no clue why this is all happening though. I’m healthy, but my body just isn’t tolerating the pregnancy for some reason. That puts me having her more around the middle of September. I have none of the history or other previous conditions that would predispose me to preterm labor so this is all still unknown as to the exact cause.

So now we wait. I honestly haven’t figured out what is worse though; having the unexpected surprise that Butters had to go to the NICU, or the knowledge that there is a good chance if Dot is born before 36 weeks that she will also have a short stay in the NICU. Honestly I don’t want to find out but I have a feeling that we will understand once again too well about the things and procedures and routines there.

So how are we coping? Well at times I’m not sure. Butters is too young to understand at this point. Right now the only thing he probably notices is that I can’t be up as much or go on long walks with him anymore.

With the events of the CCHA rejecting the UAH Chargers application this week W has been kept very busy with helping organize a fan base (http://saveuahhockey.com/ and @saveuahhockey on twitter). By his own admission, this is helping keep his mind off things. Its better that he have this distraction right now than let himself think about what is going on too much.

I’m coping but sometimes not too well. I go to sleep every night and wake up and it’s the first thing on my mind. Every time she moves I am reminded of what is going on. When I can stay busy at the office, things are better, but lately work has been up and down. Some days I’m really busy and others I’m just not and that’s where my mind starts drifting back to what is going on with my body and her. The medication has stopped a good bit of the contractions but tends to let them through when its about an hour before my next dose. Also I've learned that I can't be up for more than about 3 hours before I start getting bad cramps/ contractions and have to rest. Generally, the side effects are not too bad. The worst of it is the swelling in my legs from my knees down and the hot flashes. Other than that, I don’t feel near as bad as I did on the terbutaline.

I guess right now we have come to accept the fact that there is a good chance we will see the NICU again. With the possibility of her being born early we are just preparing ourselves to see it again. I am actually seriously considering going and buying a pack of newborn onsies and leaving them in the package with the receipt. I figure if she is bigger or doesn’t need them I can always return them and if we do have them I’m sure we will be able to do a small load of laundry and get them washed if needed.

So that’s where we stand right now. I know this was much longer of a post than anyone probably ever cared to read but there has just been a lot going on and I didn’t feel like breaking it up into multiple posts.

Butters and other things

2009-08-07T18:30:00.000-07:00

This is my second blog this week which means I've had a little too much free time!!

One of the things I haven’t talked about on this blog lately that I used to is Butters. He is now almost 2.5 years old and slowly turning W grey during the day. When I get home he acts like the entire day he has been starved to death. Now I vividly remember when he was an infant the minute I walked through the door he wanted to nurse. At the time I thought it was cute but its continued on through the toddler years.

One thing I can say that we are very happy about is at least right now he is not a picky eater. Given the chance he will try anything and everything. Most recently he and I both had our first gyro from a local greek place we love. He inhaled the entire half of it I gave him. Then after he was done went back in his high chair searching for piece he may have left behind. He has had many greek foods and loves all of them so far. He will eat salad as dinner with no problem and loves to try new things. I am loving this since my nieces and nephews all tend to be picky eaters. I know it might not last forever, but I am sure enjoying it while it lasts!

Also we have very slowly started potty training with him. Granted we weren’t planning on really getting into it until after Dot is here, but he is showing interest. He isn’t really consistent yet, but I tend to ask him a lot if he needs to go. Many times he is still dry which is nice. We aren’t doing any major rewards just yet except for a lot of praise. I think he is starting to understand when he is wet and will pull at his diaper. Most of the time that means its too late, but as I said we aren’t doing this full blown right now. When he goes that’s great and if he doesn’t that’s ok too.

I’ve been really preoccupied with how to prepare him for Dot’s arrival lately. I’ve read many schools of thought and honestly don’t know what to think. Thanks to a local nursing moms group and friends that have babies he has defiantly been exposed to babies. Normally he wants to see them, looks and laughs then goes on about doing something else. I know that this won’t last once Dot is here but part of me hopes that having been at least exposed to other babies will give him an idea of what is going on.

Oh and much to W's dismay he was right about something. Some time in the coming weeks I am planning a blog post about how I have toddler proofed some cloth diapers using snaps and velcro. I hate to say it but this was W's idea so I have to give him all the credit.

28 weeks and an update from last week

2009-08-05T19:16:00.000-07:00

So its been a week since I last went to the doctor and got the news that I never expected. In some ways I am really shocked that I’ve taken it so well. Granted the thought of Dot having problems does scare the hell out of me, but for some reason I have come to be at peace with it. Normally this would really not be how I am, but in some ways I am just trusting in my body. I know that I am eating right and staying as active as possible. Also much to everyone’s relief I haven’t been climbing on top of any Chinook helicopters this time too which helps.

The terbutaline that I was prescribed I only take when the contractions get bad. Meaning if I have 3 in an hour then I take it. Luckily, I have not taken it too many times. The problem with the terbutaline is it causes me to shake nervously, my heart races, I generally can’t think straight and at the same time it makes me drowsy. None of these are fun and when they are all together I have a hard time getting to sleep and just generally feel confused. Still the contractions are not linked to any activity or anything that I can figure out. When I get them is still very random.

This week I had my glucose tolerance test. Translation I think this is my least favorite part of any prenatal tests or things that are done. I was not allowed to have even water after midnight or after I drank the nasty stuff. The “glucola” last time was orange flavored which caused me to never touch Sunkist since. This time it was fruit punch which was even worse. It tasted like bad flavored cough syrup. I nearly threw up trying to drink it if that tells you anything. Hopefully I’ll get the results next week at my next visit and not have to do the 3 hour test. Once per pregnancy is plenty!

Also this past weekend my Palm Centro died a death from a hardware failure. Its something that Palm has known about apparently and will do nothing to fix. So luckily I was able to upgrade my phone early and I have a new Blackberry Storm. First impressions so far are that I now see why they are called “Crackberries”. 2 days with out a phone about drove me crazy and this one is really nice and has a ton of functionality.

Other than all the doctor stuff I have slowly started getting clothes and diapers ready for Dot. I found a bunch of the clothes that I saved from when Butters was little and have started sorting them and washing the 0-3 and 3-6 month sizes. Many of them are really boyish, but the onsies are great layering so I’m just going to let her wear them. I also found Butters old Nashville Preditors 0-3 month set with a hat, onsie, pants and a bib. I can tell you right now that Dot’s first hockey event (game or coaches’ luncheon) she will be wearing this! That is unless we get a UAH one that she can wear.

Also I am working on fixing up some old Bum Genius 2.0 diapers and fitting them with snaps at the waist instead of the aplix they came with. It’s a pretty slow process but its coming along and hopefully I’ll have it all done before she gets here. I'll post some pictures once I get some completely finished.

I’m not getting ahead of myself though. We have a baby shower planned for this weekend back in Moody so I am trying not to do too much nesting until after the shower so I can see what exactly we will need.

I guess that’s about all for now. Hopefully after my appointment next week I will have good news. In addition, I am really looking forward to this weekend’s baby shower. This will be the last time I travel to Moody until after Dot is here due to the very good possibility that I will go early.

27 weeks and another doctors visit

2009-07-28T19:10:00.000-07:00

So I had my next appointment this week and things were mixed.

First off the good news. Baby Dot is doing great. My doctor was happy with her measurements and her heart rate was right at 140bpm.

My wieght is climbing, but no big worries. I'm up to 146lbs and my blood pressure was 120/70 which is all good. For once this past month I didn't weigh myself at all. I actually just knew that I was maintaining a healthy diet, walking about a mile and a half 4 to 5 days a week, and generally staying active. So when I saw the weight gain I wasn't worried at all for once.

So here's the news that wasn't great.

For the past month I have been having some problems. At my last doctors visit I mentioned that I had felt some pretty uncomfortable contractions and Dot seemed to be very low. At the time no one thought it was a big deal but over the past month things have stayed the same. I've had on average 5 contractions a day with a lot of braxton hicks and the low pressure has gotten worse. I havent said much about this because I didn't want to worry or scare anyone but W and I have been dealing with things day to day as they happen.

So when I went into the office today I mentioned the contractions to the nurse and then to my doctor. Luckily my doctor is great and took my concerns seriously. He immediately said he wanted to check and make sure I wasn't progressing and that the contractions while real were hopefully having no affect. He did check and I have started to dialate already. Not even a centimeter yet, but as he put it finger tip. Luckily other than that everything else is fine and I am no where near ready to have this baby (cervix high and thick which is good). He also prescribed a drug called Terbutaline. Basically its a drug normally used to treat asthma but is also common in treating preterm labor contractions. The plan is to take it only as needed to stop the contractions. The side effects are tolerable so far in that the main things that happen are my heart racing and feeling flushed. I think I can deal with these as long as the contractions ease up for a while.

The odd thing about all this is I wasn't told to stop any of my daily activities. Since the contractions come if I rest or active he said there was no reason for me to stop walking everyday or staying as active with Butters as I can. Also now we are offically going to every 2 week visits. He originally said a month, but reconsidered after what we talked about. He is starting to want to keep a closer eye on me for a while just incase these contractions don't get any better.

Also now there is more talk of me making it to 36 weeks rather than full term. With all the contractions and what not the goal is now more than ever to just make it to 36 weeks. For me that means 9 more weeks of being pregnant and I will have reached a goal. This also means that after my baby shower in Moody on the 9^th I am not traveling out of Huntsville at all. With everything going on its just not in my best interest to go very far.

The news today was shocking for both W and I. I hated calling him on the phone after it all and having to tell him. I hated going back to work and trying not to think about it. Right now we are doing our best to stay positive about it all. We are doing our best to take things one day at a time and not think about the possibilities of having another NICU experience.

So while this was news that I debated sharing here I think its for the best. I'm not asking for anything but understanding that I had to get this off my chest and talk about it in some way, shape or form. I'm sure both baby Dot and I are going to be fine and in some way she is just trying to beat her older brother in how many grey hairs she can give daddy early on! :0)

Swim For Melissa

2009-07-26T15:32:00.000-07:00

As I have talked about on many occasions when Butters was born W and I were introduced to a world that we never thought we would experience. The Huntsville Hospital for Women and Children's Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Ever since that day I have wanted to give back in some small way. Most of you know that every Christmas we go to the tree lighting in front of the Women and Children's Center. For the past 2 years Butters has gotten a commemorative ornament where all the proceeds go the help the NICU. I feel that getting him this kind of ornament as his for the year is a small way to give back to a unit that we never thought we would see and for the wonderful doctors and nurses that helped us in a very rough time.

This year Butters will be participating in a fund raiser called Swim For Melissa. You can read more about the basics of the program here. Butters isn't old enough to actually swim this year but he is participating as what is called a paddler. He will be there getting to play with other kids his age and just helping out with any money we raise. A link to his page can be found here.

I am still working on getting everything up and running on his page so please bear with me.
While I am not doing this post to ask for donations, I am doing it more to get the word out about the event in general. It should be a fun day for everyone involved and I know we are really looking forward to it.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-22T16:51:00.000-07:00

Since I have babies on the brain:

Butters in the NICU one day old.

First hockey game

Now at 2 years old

Thinking about the upcoming UAH hockey season

2009-07-19T17:08:00.000-07:00

Let me first note that from now until she makes her debut our little girl will be known as “Dot”. We are waiting to reveal the name until after she makes her arrival in late September or October sometime. I just hate saying “little girl” or baby girl all the time in my posts and had to use some kind of name.

It should come as no surprise that when I say we are a hockey family that it comes to our kids as well. Some may remember that Butters was inadvertently planned around an entire hockey season and born right after UAH lost to Notre Dame . Butters went to his first Blue/White game at 6 months as well as his first UAH home game. While I was pregnant with him he was very active during the game, but during intermissions he sat quietly. Sometimes the movements were so strong that I had to leave my seat and stand up in the stair well below.

When we found out Dot’s due date we had to laugh. The timing of her is right around the time of UAH’s first hockey games of the season. While the official schedule hasn’t been released yet the one that USCHO has posted puts our first home game on October 23. This was just a little too amusing for us when we first heard. Now with her due date coming anytime at the end of September or first of October it looks like I might possibly not have to worry about going into labor during a game.

So one night this past week after Butters went to bed W and I got to talking about hockey once again. With the season approaching the topic comes up more often than not about what to expect with the season, our chances of getting into the CCHA and the last year in the CHA and of course trying to teach Butters to say “Bemidji sucks!”

But this time the conversation was more around Dot. W asked me if I was ready to take a 2 week old to her first hockey game and that stirred some conversation and worry on my end. Granted thanks to Stephanie's generosity I have the perfect ring sling to keep her in during the game and for when she gets bigger I have a mei tai that I’ve used with Butters for a long time and love. I figure that I’ll be able to dress her in a couple of layers to keep her warm as well as have a blanket if needed. My worry is learning to nurse in the sling. I’ve heard many people say that it is very easy but I need to get it down first hand. Also if I need a backup I have a good nursing cover I can use. So as long as I can keep her with dry diapers and fed I think she will be ok. Its Butters I’m more worried about. Last year it was a full time job during the game keeping him occupied. I am really hopeful that Alvin will be a little easier to control during games this year.

I’m just not sure how I am going to handle it all. I hate to say it, but I have even thought about not going to all the games this year depending on how Butters acts. Basically if anyone has advice on how to control a toddler with an infant please let me know.

23 weeks and an answer

2009-06-30T17:21:00.000-07:00

This week marked another visit to my doctor. It was for a basic checkup and the infamous scan to hopefully determine if this was a little boy or girl.

First let me say this. I really like my doctor. He is pretty non interventional. He believes to a certain degree to just monitor things and not use medical intervention unless needed. His staff though at times is different. This time the nurse the brought me back weighed me (up 5lbs) then got the heartbeat and measurement as well as my blood pressure. She never did tell us what the heartrate, bloodpressure or measurement was. She went about it and just ignored that I was trying to ask her. Oh well. I can put up with a mediocre staff for a doctor I like.

The only real problem I had to address at this appointment were the bad cramps that I started getting last week. At first I thought it was just all in my head but 2 afternoons and nights of it convinced me otherwise. I called the office and the nurses were great on the phone and told me to take it easy this past weekend, drink plenty of water and fluids and stay out of the sun. So this weekend that's what I did. It mostly worked but it was still happening a little. So today I asked my actual doctor. I gave him all the symptoms that I've been experiencing and he agreed that it sounded like I've been having contractions. He said to just watch it but didn't put me on any restrictions (besides reminding me not to climb on helos). So right now I still have them when I'm up for too long, but I also know that I did the right thing by calling in the first place and he encouraged me to call again if it gets bad.

So for the big news. We had the ultrasound. He checked the head, spine, feet, hands and face and everything looked good. Of course he also checked the parts. And lets just say that my gut feeling was right.

The big news is Butters and Mac will have a little sister.

Yes to my absolute shock it really is a girl. Even though my gut was telling me one thing its been wrong before so I was doubting what I really thought. So right now it looks like we will have a little girl due right around the time our beloved UAH Chargers should start home games.

Poor W is outnumbered and I am trying to get it through my head that we are actually going to have a baby girl around here!

cloth diapering bug

2009-06-27T14:57:00.000-07:00

So a while back I posted about the new hair brained idea that I had about cloth diapering the next one and Butters as well. Its not that I'm out to save the planet, but more to save money.

Since then some things have happened. While I like the BumGenius 3.0 diapers we have, Butters is at the top of the weight limit for them and they really don't fit as well for an active toddler as I would like. So I took a gamble and got a pack of prefold diapers and 2 thirsties covers as well as some Imse Vimse flushable liners. I don't use pins or a snappi with them, but just fold them into what I've seen called the newspaper fold and the cover holds the inside in place and on top of the pre-fold I put one of the liners. So far this has become a favorite way of diapering Butters during the day. The large thirsties cover fits him really well and the flush able liners are amazingly sturdy. I had heard that you could actually throw them into the washer if they weren't dirty and was skeptical but shocked at the result. I've washed liners through both the pre-wash and hot cycles every time and they hold up really well. Most of the time I can get 4 to 5 washes out of each liner if its not dirty.

Right now I actually like the system we have. I use primarily the thirsties covers and pre folds at home. I really love being able to just swap out the liners and only have to use one cover for the day unless it get dirty. The BumGenius are still good for at night. They generally work well even though he is a little big for them. Also I tend to keep one extra insert as well as one BumGenius when we go out in my purse or diaper bag. The system works well for us and right now I am only doing diaper laundry ever 2 days which to me is very reasonable.

Also I've read a lot about wet bags and such. Right now we aren't using one. I find that the plastic bags we have left over from grocery shopping work well and when they get dirty or just nasty then they get thrown out. I know its not the most environmentally friendly thing, but it works for us.

So I'm 23 weeks pregnant and lately I've been giving a lot of thought to what to use for the new baby. Right now I think a version of the system we use with Butters will work well. Recently Thirsties came out with a new cover called the Duo Wrap. I love this idea and they are very affordable. I am planning on combining them with pre folds like I do now. Since an infant tends to need more diaper changes I think this will work well with changing just the prefold when needed. Also I would like to get about 4 more one size diapers. The question is if I am going to get the BumGenius or another brand. Right now I am looking at the FuzziBunz and Smartipants as well as the BumGenius. I of course want to get the best most durable and have been slowly doing my research on everything.

So these are my thoughts on everything so far. If anyone has any recommendations or advice I would appreciate it.

An emotional check up

2009-06-08T17:37:00.000-07:00

So last week marked my 19 week check up and things got a little emotional as they can during pregnancy. I didn’t have W by my side this time to stop the on-flux of tears that soon came but I got through and when I met him at the airport the tears started to flow and flowed more once we go home.

So first the good news. I of course had a list of questions and luckily was able to manage Butters and my niece long enough to get them all answered. First thing are the results of the quad screen all came back negative. So what does this mean in normal terms? Basically that the indicators that they can check for in my blood that would show possible downs syndrome, spinal defects and other chromosomal abnormalities. All the results for me were negative so no worries on that end. Also I need to add that my ob operates on a no news is good news philosophy. So if something had of come up positive I would have known before yesterday but I wanted to ask anyway.

There was the first question regarding if I was feeling any movement and that was a definite yes. Some days it more like a ball pushing out on the right side of my abdomen more than anything, but there is defiantly movement there! Also this kid is pretty low so many times the movement is centered on my sciatic nerve in my back or bladder! But either way I and W have been able to feel quite a bit of movement which is reassuring many days!

The next question was regarding the much more prevalent cramping and pressure I’ve been experiencing with this one. He assured me it was a normal thing to happen with the second and not to be alarmed unless they turn into contractions.

The final question that I had was about scheduling my next appointment. He won’t do the gender screen until 22 weeks exactly so I wanted to schedule the appointment for that week so that Mac could still be here to see for herself. He said that was fine and we will hopefully be finding out the gender on June 30th. I am very excited to finally have a day set!

The last thing that actually happened at the first of my visit was my weight gain. When I went back I stepped on the scale and it said 134lbs. This is up 9 total pounds in 19.5 weeks and the nurse said something along the lines of wow you’ve gained a lot of weight. Now most people know that my weight is a fairly sensitive issue so when she said this it killed me. We went back to the room and took my blood pressure (didn’t get the exact reading but it was around what it normally is) and the heartbeat which was in the upper 140’s to 150’s which was fine. She measured me and for about 19.5 weeks I was measuring 22 weeks so that should say something right there. The nurse asked about my diet and I assured her that I wasn’t eating huge portions and nothing out of the normal. I exercise as much as I can and stay active. I actually only have small cravings for junk food (and only eat a small amount when I do crave it) which is nice and normally stick to dried fruit as my major craving. She said something along the lines of well maybe you just hit a growth spurt and it will even out. By this time though the damage was already done and all I wanted to do was crawl into a ball and cry.

So next my doctor came in and after we discussed everything else I asked about the weight gain. He told me that I was doing everything right and that every pregnancy is different. As long as I’m not eating junk food every day and just maintain a healthy lifestyle I will gain the weight that I am supposed to. So as reassured as this makes me I can’t help but still wonder if I’m doing the right things. Then after W got back I collapsed in tears. I just completely had a melt down and cried for a good 5 or 10 minutes. I know its hard for him to see me that upset about something but he understands that my weight is a sensitive issue and being told by a nurse that I gained too much really hit me hard. He tried his best to let me completely soak his the shoulder of his shirt with tears and calm me down. The truth of it was I just needed to cry and get it out and I think he of all people understands that.

So now I have a month to look forward to with 2 kids. W went out to get Mac from Sacramento for a month and after a long travel ordeal that I’m sure he will be blogging about later.

NICU memories

2009-05-26T18:18:00.000-07:00

The thoughts and memories of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at Huntsville Hospital for Women and Children never seem too far from my mind these days. I can still vividly remember where his small bed was on both the critical and progressive sides of the unit. The procedures that we went through just to be able to go to his bedside every time we went to see him are still vivid memories. I in great detail remember the care routine that became second nature every time we went to see him. I remember the shock and almost laughter when they told us we had to complete a checklist of baby care items and even do a car seat test. Then there was the shock of the neonatologist asking us the morning he was discharged if we were ready to take him home. The memories are pictures in my mind as well as from W’s camera that I will never forget.

I’m not saying all these things to be nostalgic about how Butters once looked so frail and now is the 35lb toddler that bulldozes everything and everyone in his path. I talk about this because in some ways I am mentally preparing for it become a reality again.

Since my doctor is already talking about this baby following in his/her brother’s footsteps in being big and possibly coming as early as 35 weeks or so hence the reason I feel that it’s best to not forget those things that happened with Butters. Sure I hope for the best. Of course I hope that we will have an uncomplicated birth and this one will be able to room in with us at the hospital then be discharged with me. But, there is a part of me that after Butter’s birth and sudden onset of breathing difficulties knows the routine and doesn’t want to forget it all just in case we see it all again. I don't want the surprise, shock and fear that all went along with his sudden admission to the NICU. I want to be prepared and remember what happened last time just incase it happens again. I am almost half way through my pregnancy and I have had these thoughts on and off since I found out. I guess I just want to be prepared for what I know could happen.

I don’t know what it is about me, but having been through the experience once before the more I know about the situation the more it bothers me. I know that what happens is out of my control and I try to keep that in mind, but it’s really hard. I’m just one of those people that want to be prepared for everything and this is no exception. I guess its an engineer thing. :0)

A change in diapers for us

2009-05-24T11:04:00.000-07:00

As some of you know that follow my twitter feed the last few weeks have been talks about what to do as far as diapering for the next little one. After doing a good bit of research and number crunching I came to the conclusion that the BumGenius 3.0 diapers would be best due to how much they resemble disposables. The diapers say that they will fit babies to toddlers from 8 to 35 lbs and being that Butters is at the high range of that weight limit I decided that since I had a 4 day weekend I would try the four of the diapers I had out on Butters and see how they worked.

I got one of the diapers from A Nurturing Moment (shown above while Butters was napping) here in town and the other 3 (pictured) from diapers.com with a $10 off coupon. I knew I would be washing them a lot but I wanted to give it a good shot.

My goal was to go from Friday to Monday night with only using the new diapers. As of tonight I can now say that I accomplished my goal. I wanted to do this with just the diapers and liners I had to be sure that I liked them and that they would work.

So in the process I learned a few things:
1. Changing them while out isn't bad at all. I just kept a balled out Walmart or Publix bag with me and the dirty diaper went in there and was tied up. Once I got home it went in the bag with the other dirty ones or straight in the laundry for washing.

2. I got some Bummi's flushable liners but so far they are just ok. They tend to stick to his bottom along with the poop and I just take a wipe and wipe the whole mess off. No big deal but I was just hoping to be able to flush all of it. If anyone knows of any better liners or a better way to use them please let me know.

3. Butter's diaper rash all went away with no cream. I just kept the diapers on him and the red baboon butt that he gets all went away with no treatment. That was great to see!

4. Blowouts happen no madder what. I learned this Sunday night when Butter's stomach wasn't feeling to good and his diaper got nasty. While luckily most of it was contained in the liner and diaper we still had a blowout situation but I think that happens with any diaper at some point.

5. At night Butters requires at least 2 doublers. He tends to be a heavy night wetter so having the diaper stuffed a little more than during the day seems to help.

6. I really need to increase my supply of these diapers. 4 diapers is just not enough for him to get through a day. I say this but the laundry part really wasn't a problem. It took a pre-wash cycle in cold, full wash cycle in hot, then one extra rinse followed by the dryer on medium. This is what the website recommended and so far worked well.

Overall it was a great weekend experience. I would like to do laundry a little less but that is just going to require us to obtain more of them. Right now I have some on our Target registry and I am passing the word around that as far as new baby gear that would be helpful. Last is a picture of him being as active as always. The fit was still good even though he is at the top of the weight limit. At this point we haven't gone to not using disposables at all but I am starting to work these into rotation with the Huggies that we have and hopefully start saving a little money.

Just as a side note. I estimated that he uses about 5 to 6 diapers a day. So to have a good toddler supply where I only have to wash every other night we would need about 12 to 15. But I estimated this weekend that I saved 24 disposable diapers (average) which amounts to the price of one of the Bum Genius 3.0 diapers. Not too bad for a 4 day weekend!

15 weeks

2009-05-06T17:08:00.000-07:00

So this week marked 15 weeks and another doctor’s visit. The basic stats were blood pressure 118/80 (which I was told was good), +2lbs and we did get a good heart beat that was right at 156bpm. The nurse was skeptical about getting a heart beat so early on but luckily since I’m so small it wasn’t a problem. The 2lb weight gain was kind of a shock considering how sick I’ve been in the evening and at night. I asked my doctor about size concerns. He looked at my chart from last time and after everything that happened said that he wouldn’t be surprised if I went early. He said that since Butters was big my chances of having another big baby are pretty good. He did say that he would be happy if I went into labor at 37 weeks (which would put this one being born right around W's birthday) with no intervention depending on how big this one is. I wanted to ask a lot of what if questions but I know it’s far too early for that and there’s no need to at the moment. Also we found out that we won’t find out the gender of this little one until around the first week of July. Hopefully we will still have Mac for the big day.

So far my main food cravings are tuna salad (made with low fat mayo and plenty of sweet relish), decaf iced coffee, instant oatmeal, sweet breakfast cereal, Tommy’s Pizza and anything with a strong citrus flavor (orange juice, chunked pineapple ect). The citrus seems to be linked to my nightly battles with getting to sleep. It seems as if I don’t have enough acid on my stomach so eating a few bites of citrus gives me enough acid to digest food and not get so sick. Ironically I don’t want soft drinks at all right now. I’ll normally have a couple of sips then they just don’t taste good anymore. I am much more preferring crystal light iced tea, lemonade or Capri suns to drink rather than soft drinks.

I’m still with out an appetite most of the time though. I eat last at night around 8pm and normally can’t manage to even think about eating until after 8am the next day. I know this isn’t entirely healthy but I’m doing to best I can. After around 9 I tend to snack on stuff that I’ve got at my desk to keep me out of the vending machine. Oddly enough I haven’t really wanted sweets that much. A random sweet craving can normally be tamed with a chocolate chip granola bar. I honestly do find myself snacking more at the office I think due to only having this type of food around and not as home as much. I have snack stuff at home but the stuff I really crave is at work. I don’t consider what I snack on that unhealthy. I’ve been really working to not look at a clock so much when I eat but rather eat when I feel like I need to. I’m mainly doing this so that I can not worry so much about when I’m eating but rather focus on just eating when and what I need to (with in reason).

Respect or lack there of (vent)

2009-04-30T17:10:00.000-07:00

One of the things that I deal with in my job and throughout my career as an engineer or in school is respect. During my undergraduate days it wasn’t a big deal. Around the time that I got to my upper level classes the guys I was in class with generally got the idea that the women left could cut it and basically gave us the respect we deserved. The same stands true for graduate school. I receive the amount of respect that I should and am very rarely talked down to in a class setting or talking to a professor

When I got my first engineering job I expected for there to be a lot of problems with the guys in the office and hanger but I was surprised at what I found. I was respected and seen as someone who knew what they were talking about. I got a little bit of resistance from guys when I went on trips but a few hours into it that faded and the problems were no longer an issue. In part I have to say that this was easier for me since the manager that I had was a woman and had in a way cleared the path. Granted we were complete opposite personalities but I think she did make it so that when I was starting out in the field it wasn’t as hard as it could have been.

At my current job it’s all different. Apparently I scare the guys I work with to a degree. When I initially got here things were fine. The boss I had at the time was great and I had no problems except for another woman in my group (but she has since left and that’s a whole other story). When this boss decided to leave the guys up north appointed one of the other guys in my group supervisor until someone else could be found. This is when things started getting bad. The comments about my eating started, the guys in my group started talking much worse. Things just snowballed very quickly. With in a few months of him leaving I found myself in a bad situation. The lack of respect that I got and continue to get when it comes to school and my knowledge of things would amaze you. I sit next to a guy who mainly complains about his older daughter. Calling her all kinds of names and even cussing her out on the phone right beside me is a little much. I also at least once a week get treated to a rather heated argument with his wife. The other guy that sits right on the other side of the cube wall from me has basically proclaimed that he has very little to do with his three kids and considers himself a sperm donor and the kids are his wife’s problem. This is the same guy that had the bravado to say that W must give Butters Benadryl sometimes so he will sleep and W can play video games!

I used to be able to overlook all this stuff, but after having Butters I could never imagine talking like his. Yes W and I have our disagreements but I try not to have them in the office and not bring it into the work place at all. I’m also not saying that Butters is always an angel and does no wrong. What I am saying is no madder how bad of a night I have with him or how much his 2 year old antics frustrate me I don’t talk bad about him at the office. Same goes for Mac when she’s around. I would never talk to others about how bad they are or what all they did wrong. That kind of stuff to me is meant to stay at home and not air out your “dirty laundry” at the office.

Also I want to make a distinction here. Talking to friends that have kids the same age about the interesting behaviors and quirks that are going on is completely different than talking about your kind in an entirely negative manner.

I’m not trying to sound feminist or anything about the respect issue but I get a little irritated when I hear the same things every week at work. I do my best to show these guys respect but at times it’s very hard when they show basically none to me in return. I guess I feel that inappropriate comments and complaining about your wife, kids, dogs ect should be kept out of the workplace to an extent and not voiced so loudly that everyone around can hear it. Also I really wish these guys would show a certain amount of respect in the work place towards myself and their own families in the way they talk about them.

12 weeks End of the first Trimester

2009-04-10T17:18:00.000-07:00

So here I am 12 weeks pregnant. One of the big ultrasounds was this week and everything went great. W and Butters didn’t go to this one due to the really long weekend we had just completed. The wait was much longer than normal but when I was brought back I went through the normal round of 100 questions with the nurse about my medical history and various things. After that was the moment of truth. I was brought into the ultra sound room ready to see our little boy/girl. Thankfully he/she is doing great! I saw all 5 fingers and toes on each hand and foot. My OB took a look at the spine and profile and saw no gaps so everything looked great. The heartbeat was good and strong and the flow circulation of blood looked good. There was one tiny thing he noticed though. Just like Butters this one is already measuring big. As in about a week ahead! It’s not a big deal right now but its something to keep an eye on. He is going to monitor me more closely as far as the baby’s growth so that hopefully we can avoid what happened last time. But then again W just makes big kids so we will have to see. He just wants to try and avoid us all having to go through the NICU experience for the second time and we appreciate that! Once again he got a laugh out of my continued activity and we agreed that this week would be my last week playing hockey.

The only major symptoms I’ve had are nausea and exhaustion. I get pretty sick in the afternoon no madder what I do or eat so I’ve just come to accept that for now. I also have to eat a small snack about every 2 hours or so or the nausea gets much worse and I end up getting full blown sick. The lack of energy has been tough too. With 6 hours of grad classes and finals approaching I need some form of energy. Luckily I have found a way to make iced half caffeine coffee in the morning and that has helped tremendously in getting me up and moving in the morning (and afternoon some days).

This past week also marked my last week of being able to play hockey. I played my final scrimmage on Wednesday night. The women were split up with the men which made it really interesting. At the end of the game while the coach was making some announcements someone made the statement that I would be leaving the team until around December. Afterwards a lot of the guys were asking me why I was leaving and when I told them I was 11 weeks pregnant they were a little shocked. It was apparently quite surprising that I would play hockey all the way through my first trimester. I was really surprised that the guys were sad to see me go. I really enjoy skating with most of them and working the clock will be ok, but I am still really going to miss the physical activity of it all.

Now I just need to find something else to do to keep in shape besides running after Butters outside in the afternoon and on weekends.

This will also more than likely be my last post until after finals are over at the end of the month. Luckily in Uncertanty analysis there isn’t a final but my compressible aero exam is not going to be easy. In fact I expect it to easily be the hardest of the semester and want to be completely prepared.

One last thing I need thank Stephanie over at Adventures in Babywearing. Below are a couple of pictures I managed to get while out shopping last weekend. A question I get a lot is why I still wear Butters even at 2 years old. Last weekend was a perfect example. We were in a place he wasn't sure of at all and needed the reassurace. So wearing him in a place like that made him feel more comfortable. Also he didn't want to go to either my mom or sister that were with us. I tried to encourage him to walk but when I saw it wasn't working and he was about to have a tantrum I just put him back in the sling and wore him where we were going. We have a stroller but really don't use it too much just because the sling is so much easier to get on and off and keep him close. I plan on wearing him as much as I can until I just get too pregnant to continue.

Hockey tournament, birthday party and big changes coming!

2009-03-28T17:44:00.001-07:00

So as I say to start off every post, things have been busy as of late. I’ve been trying to keep up with intensifying assignments in school while still trying to find time to spend with the family. Plus we had the Rocket City Rumble Women’s hockey tournament last weekend and then this weekend was Butter’s birthday party and the NICU reunion/birthday party. The party was a lot of fun for Alvin. He mainly enjoyed terrorizing the Easter Bunny. All he really wanted to do was go and play with him. There were kid friendly snacks and games to be played. We also ran into a couple of doctors and nurses we remembered. The main thing that I noticed was that 2 years later and he is still the biggest. I didn't see any other of the kids that were his size.

All in all things have been well but busy as you could expect. The women’s tournament went really well. We actually had 2 teams participate. The “white” team (due to white jerseys) did well but unfortunately didn’t make it to the championship game. The “black” (due to black jerseys) made it to the championship game and lost a hard fought game to the Nashville Athena’s. It was a great and actually somewhat laid back tournament and I think most people had a lot of fun.

Then there was Butter's birthday on Wednesday. We kept things pretty low key since he was having two different birthday parties this weekend. One for our family on Sunday and then the NICU Look at me Now party for all 2007 NICU graduates. He did of course have his favorite dinner of spaghetti and garlic bread. He made a huge mess but loved every bit of it.

But there is one small change that has kept me busy.

Really small.

You know like being pregnant!

Yes you read that right. I am pregnant with #2 due October 25th. I honestly don’t know what to think still. I think we are both still in shock. I mean I know our lives are going to change drastically yet again and I can’t imagine it all. W’s life is about to get even more crazy. Butters will be about 2.5 when this one arrives and I think the age spacing will work well. He is still a little too young to really understand what is going on but I think if we talk about it enough before my due date and let him feel the baby move he might get the picture a little better.

As far as me I’m ok. This one has been much different than when I was pregnant with Butters. I actually needed to go on anti nausea meds (Zofran) just to be able to eat some days. Other than that I’ve just been facing the normal first trimester exhaustion.

And before anyone looks at this and asks about hockey, yes I am still playing under my doctor’s permission. When I asked him at the first appointment he laughed a little because he wasn’t prepared for the question. He then told me that it was fine to play up until the end of my first trimester. Now I say this and I have realized that playing hockey is getting much harder as my waist expands. My pants really don’t fit very well and make it harder to bend over due to my expanding belly.

This weekend we told our parents at Butter’s birthday party. Originally we wanted to get a shirt for Butters and just let him wear it around and see if anyone figured it out. We couldn’t get the shirt so I decided to write a letter that sounded like it was from him and gave it to everyone. Well all the parents were completely shocked. We had already told our sisters and step sisters but the grandparents had no idea. Overall besides the weather turning cold all of a sudden on us. Alvin though was a little clingy he had a pretty good time but afterwards with no nap he crashed hard!

So overall it was a good last couple of weeks have been really good but really exhausting. I also have a ton of homework and stuff with school to catch up on.

Oh and one last thing. I have to say thank you to Stephanie over at Adventures in Babywearing for sending me a ring sling. Butters and I have been using it on and off for a couple of weeks and we love it! I'll try and post a picture here soon. I was going to get to it today but we just got too busy this weekend.

Spring Break week... not a break for me at all!

2009-03-17T18:32:00.000-07:00

So once again yes I am still alive. Things with school have been really busy. We have averaged 10 problems a week in compressible aerodynamics and they aren’t easy. Most of them take about 2 pages minimum to complete. Uncertainty analysis is well uncertain. The class isn’t very hard at all. Its basically poking holes in everything and trying to find out what will cause the biggest sources of error.

This week however is spring break. What does that mean for me; well not much. I procrastinated a little last week due to feeling so incredibly sick from the stomach bug that I got. So this week I am actually working on homework for both classes and attempting to get slightly ahead in uncertainty analysis.

Then at the end of the week comes the best part. It’s the first annual Rocket City Rumble sponsored by our women’s hockey team. We are actually fielding 2 teams for the tournament and we are very excited. Butters will be spending the weekend with my dad and step mom so that Will can shoot the games as much as possible. Right now assuming we don’t make the finals we will play 4 games in 24 hours. It sounds like a lot, but its actually about the normal schedule for a weekend tournament.

The next few weekends are just going to be so busy for us. First we have this weekend for the tournament. Then the next weekend we have the NICU reunion party and Butter’s birthday party. Then after that the weekend of the 4th and 5th is the Tuscaloosa air show. W is going to be going by himself while Butters and I spend the day with my mom and sister.

I have some other topics to go into soon but right now I just don’t have the time to dig too deep into them so I’ll get to those later.

Wearing a toddler

2009-02-10T17:39:00.000-08:00

So apparently Blissdom 09 has inspired me to write more. Here’s the second post in a week. Be scared people something is very wrong with me here! :0)

There are times that I wonder feel bad about not being able to trust Butters when we go for walks in the afternoon. I love this time with him in the afternoon but lately his toddler instincts have been in overdrive and he wants to explore everything and anything around us. The most recent thing that worried me was his want to go and jump in the lake around our place. Trying to get his 32lb frame away from the shore was a challenge in itself and resulted in one massive temper tantrum and him running back in the general direction of the water after I had put him down to walk again.

Wearing Alvin in the front as I normally do.

So after our last walk that ended in me carrying him most of the way home I decided that for the next little while I am going to take him with me for a walk but put him in the mei tai carrier for the majority of the walk. I hate that I have to do it but at the same time it’s about the only way I can really control his 32 lb body when he gets like that. Granted he still loves the carrier and loves to be worn in public in general which I think is a good sign. He still comes up to me when I tie the waist straps and begs to be picked up and strapped in so I know he sees it as something very positive in general.

Hanging around in the backpack carry

So here’s my question to anyone that has worn a toddler, do you feel that its almost a form of gentle discipline when you put them in it when they don’t cooperate in public just to control them and avoid a temper tantrum? Do you carry them to avoid a tantrum from happening in the first place?

Blissdom 09 and such

2009-02-07T08:44:00.000-08:00

So this weekend I attended my first ever blogger conference. It was an eye opening experience to say the least and I realized a few things that I normally don't think about.

The first thing that was glaring me in the face was how uncomfortable I am around so many woman. I have spent so much time in school and work with mainly guys that being in a room with all woman is a little intimidating. Its amazing to me that I thought before going was how this would be great, but when I got here I just wanted to go and find a quiet place.

The second thing that I saw and was so happy about is the abundance of baby wearing. Living in the town that I do, I really don't see many women/men doing a lot of baby wearing, but here it was the complete norm. It was so interesting also to see all of the different types of slings/pouches/carriers. It gave me so many ideas about how to continue wearing Butters and possibly another one later.

The other thing that came to mind is I really would like to post more, but at this point I just don't think there are enough hours in the day. I am one of those people that can only write every so often just due to how busy I am. I also have to make sure I actually have something to say. I tend to want to talk about what my title is. I like to talk about how in the world I manage to do it all. I talk about baby wearing a 32lb not even 2 year old toddler; about a love of hockey with my family that is normally only seen in the northern US and Canada; and finally how in the world some days I manage to keep up my insane schedule.

To everyone that we met this weekend it was great. I am so glad that we got to meet so many new people and put faces to names with others. I can't wait to get to know you all better through your writing!

I guess this mess of rambling once again has left with a final thought. I am a real woman who just happens to work in a male dominated engineering field. I am a real mother/grad student/wife. I would like to put more stuff on here, but I simply don't think that there are enough hours in the day and I try to only post things that I have really thought a lot about or had a very strong opinion about.

Schedule of a working mom/grad student/ hockey player/ wife ect...

2009-02-02T17:37:00.000-08:00

So I decided to post the main reason that I don’t post many meaningful things on this blog. Its just because I am too busy. The only time I seem to have to write stuff is in spare moments at work and when I’m bored in uncertainty analysis. Tonight I found myself somewhat ahead in classes so I had time to do this. So here’s a run down of a typical week right now for me during the crazy semsester of classes I’m taking.

Monday
Alarm goes off around0350 and at work by 0430
Homework from 0430 to 0600
Work 0600-1500
Mommy time with Butters including dinner, bath and bed 1530 to 1900ish
Homework/get ready for the next day 1930 to 2100
Bed hopefully around 2130

Tuesday
Alarm goes off around0350 and at work by 0430
Homework from 0430 to 0600
Work 0600-1530
School 0930 to 1230
Mommy time with Butters including dinner, bath and bed 1600 to 1900ish
Homework/get ready for the next day 1930 to 2100
Bed hopefully around 2130

Wednesday
Alarm goes off around 0430 and at work by 0515
Homework from 0515 to 0600
Work 0600-1500
Mommy time with Butters including dinner, bath and bed 1530 to 1900ish
Homework 1930 to 2005 at the iceplex
Hockey practice 2050 to 2230
Hopefully in bed asleep by 2330

Thursday
Alarm goes off around 0430 and at work by 0515
Homework from 0515 to 0600
Work 0600-1530
School 0930 to 1230
Mommy/wife time with Butters and W including dinner, bath and bed 1600 to 1900ish
Homework/get ready for the next day 1930 to 2100 (normally this is the day I’m too tired and not much gets done)
Bed hopefully around 2130

Friday
Alarm goes off around 0350 and at work by 0430
Homework from 0430 to 0600
Work 0600-1500
Mommy/wife time with Butters and W including dinner, bath and bed 1530 to 1900ish
Homework /get ready for the next day 1930 to 2100 (I attempt homework on Friday nights but if there is UAH hockey that night there’s no way its getting done.)
Bed hopefully around 2130.

So do you think I have enough going on? Sometimes I still feel like I just don't do enough.

Work Situation and general update

2009-01-23T18:47:00.000-08:00

I’ve talked about my job a little on here but I am just fed up. I like the company just not my group in the office. I get along with everyone but my group is just a bunch of jerks. I have found myself more and more pushed aside since we came back from new years and Christmas break. I applied for a job in another department but got an email stating that I wasn’t selected for an interview. WTF? So after talking to some people I found out that the company system didn’t have it showing that the group had work and therefore had to close the requisition. Then I found out last week that the other reason I am not moving at this moment is political of sorts. My boss at cooperate headquarters wants me to stay, but my local boss wants nothing to do with me. Gotta love it. So at the moment I am stuck. The guys I am currently around give me no respect what so ever and about once a week make snide comments about how useless my master’s degree is anyway. I’ve gotten to the point that I keep some sort of music on at all times so I don’t have to listen to what they are saying about how horrible their kids, wife, dog, ect are. I’ve found myself thrilled to get out of the office to go to school lately just to get away from them. The thing about the group I was hoping to transfer to is they respect me. Yes I have a ton of questions but I know how this stuff is installed, I know the aircraft, I know the software and they aren’t intimidated by it. I actually had one of the guys give me compliment last Friday that he thought I looked really good. It shocked me because my group ends up telling me I eat to much and that I’m going to get fat, and anything else they can think of at the time. I’ve even stopped going to breakfast on Friday’s because I just can’t deal with it anymore. I can’t deal with just getting one piece of French toast with skim milk and having them look at me like I eat too much while they stuff down an omelets, tater tots, and anything else they feel like that day.

Ok enough about work. School is keeping me really busy. Compressible Aerodynamics and Uncertanty analysis are a lot of work. Compressible though is the most work. Its not that its really hard it just takes so long to do. I've estimated the past 2 weeks I've spent almost 30 hours a week on all my homework combined. I do like both of the professors but its not going to be an easy semester.

So anyone who reads my husbands blog knows that we will be heading to Nashville in a couple of weeks to meet up with some other bloggers. I can not wait. This is actually the first little trip we have taken in a very long time that doesn't involve hockey. I am so excited!!!

Also this week has just been disturbing to me. I've been hearing more stories of babies and toddler being abused and it brings me to tears every time. I guess after hearing all of these things I just appreciate Butters more. I mean it all seems to go back to how I feel. I really try and not to be the weekend parent. I dont want Butters to ever think that I won't be there for him or don't have time for him during the week. I really feel that its important for me even at this age to be home in the afternoon and spend quality time with him at night so he does honestly understand that I am and will be there for him.I

I just had to get all this out so sorry if its just all really random.

Holiday's and Dumb ass guys at work

2009-01-01T18:38:00.000-08:00

So I've been off work for almost 2 weeks now and I am going stir crazy. I love spending time with W and Butters but I can only be at home for so long before I feel the need to get back to academia or the office.

But the Friday before I left I went to breakfast at our normal place and was completely appalled at what I heard. This time the topic of conversation was how the guys I work with have so little involvement with their kids. For my sanity there is one guy who doesn't agree with all this and if it weren't for him some days I might loose my mind listing to all this. The guys were mainly talking about how they hate changing diapers. Granted I don’t know anyone who is thrilled about it, but it needs to be done and I don’t see why they don’t use that time to get to know their child better. One guy went as far as to say that he had 4 kids and changed all of 2 diapers. So where do I begin with how much I disagree with all this? First off I just feel like these guys would think so much differently if their child was taken away from them. I mean I see every day how much it tears W up that his daughter is 2000 miles away and he never gets to see her and only talk to her once or twice a week. How would they feel not getting to see their kids on their birthday or Christmas? What would they do then? I wonder how they would feel about never spending time with their kids then? It just makes me so mad!

Then there is the thing about not spending time with their kids.They are flat out proud that they are sperm donors and really don't take the initiative to do anything with their kids that their wife doesn't arrange for them. I take time all the time to do little things with Butters and Mac (when she’s here) to do little things. Because; in my mind just sitting on the floor and reading a book or making something can mean the world. It just shows that I do care about them and I am interested in what is going on with them and what they are trying to do. Like when I take Butters out for our little date night. Granted going to chik fil a and a play group or play ground might not like seem like much, but at least I am making an effort to get to know him better and show him that I do care.It all just made me really angry!!!!

So everyone is making new years resolutions. The last few years I haven't but this year instead of making resolutions I am going to list things I would like to accomplish with in the next year.

1. work out more- granted people that know me and read this are laughing to some degree. Right now my work outs have consisted of hockey once a week and running after Butters on our daily walks. I feel like its not enough. I would like to get back into the gym at 5am 2 days a week or so. I would also like to get on the wii fit more. Granted I weigh in around 125 now but I just like working out because I feel so much better about myself.

2. spend more quality time with W and Butters- since W got netfix on the 360 I think we can start making a date night every couple of weeks after Butters goes to bed. I also want to continue our walks and encourage his interest of hockey. My goal since he just got his skates is to take him to a public skate about every other month. He loves the ice and hockey and I want to encourage this love.

3.Give up soft drinks- granted I love the occasion Dr. Pepper and wiskey or rum, but other than that I would like to start drinking more crystal light (since I don't like drinking just water.)

I think that's about it for now. Its just things I want to improve on and I will work on.

Spirit of Hope

2008-12-08T18:12:00.000-08:00

First off let me say that I am still alive and well. Things the past few weeks have just been really busy with school, work, finals and the holiday's that I've had a hard time finding the time to sit and write anything. But this is something I had to get out by tonight. Its a subject that both W and I care a lot about.

There are certain events in a person’s life that change them in some way for the rest of their life. For me this was the birth of my son. My pregnancy was uncomplicated for the most part. Butters measured a little big the entire time but nothing to be alarmed at. I worked out constantly and to W’s dismay still climbed on top of Chinooks and Blackhawk’s until I was about 6 months pregnant. So when I went into labor on my own about a month early I wasn’t worried. We had a plan and I figured I would be like most and have him, spend a couple of days in the hospital then head home with my new little guy.

Well things didn’t go according to plan. Butters was born after a very long labor and quickly whisked away to the NICU after I saw him for a very short time. Luckily W was allowed to carry him there. After this both of us were introduced to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit or NICU. This was an area that both of us never thought we would ever see. But we did. We found out a couple of days later that he had what they termed “failure to thrive”. In this case it meant that his lungs just weren’t completely ready and he was breathing a little harder than they would like to see. Luckily it wasn’t an infection (like they initially thought) or anything really bad but something he just needed a little help with for until he could adjust. For a week W and I lived 4 hours at a time. We were there for all of his care times during the day and spent as much time as we could with him. We bathed him, got peed on and met many wonderful nurses and doctors in the unit. After only a week they were like an extended family. They were so happy in the day or so before getting to leave making sure that all the appropriate tests were done (car seat check ect.) and forms filled out. The day he was discharged we didn’t even know it until one of the neonatologist asked across the room where he was. He then asked if we were ready to take him home. We were thrilled yet unprepared. W hadn’t even installed the car seat base yet! So while he ran down to do that I stayed with Butters helping get him ready to go home. The nurses were wonderful. We went through the paperwork not as a chore but as friends wishing us well and trying to help with a checklist to make sure everything was taken care of. So we put him in his seat and one of the nurses wheeled him down with us. We were so excited! Once we got home we finally took off the hospital bracelets we had been wearing ever since his birth and put them away in a small memory box. We finally had our boy home after his rocky start and we couldn’t have been happier.

This memory in itself to this day scares me to death of having another one. I’m not scared of the pregnancy itself because for the most part I didn’t have any problems. I’m scared of the ending. While things worked out after the week in the NICU I’m just scared that it will all happen again. I don’t want to ever have my child taken from me minutes after birth to a place where I can’t be with him. I know that in ways my fear is completely irrational; but it’s just me. I know that I did everything right and what happened isn’t my fault but I still blame myself. I still somewhere inside feel like I could have done something to keep Butters, W and your sister from having to go through all of the worry and mess that came with it all.

So I sit here trying not to cry. I get all upset when I even think about it all. I say all this now because tomorrow night is the tree lighting at the hospital. Every year Butter’s gets an ornament where the proceeds go to the Melissa George Neonatal Foundation that helps to donate equipment to the NICU so that other babies get the care they need with out having to be transferred to elsewhere. We do this not only to benefit the others that will need care in the future but to show Butters how far he’s come and how important it is to give back even if it’s in a very small way.

baby wearing contest I found out about

2008-11-25T19:19:00.000-08:00

I just saw this contest and entered it. Yes I am a tool once again but from everything I've heard they are amazing. So I am entering it just because of the great things I've heard.

Win a Free Organic Embroidered Ergo Baby Carrier Hands Free System from Along for the Ride

Graceful I am not

2008-11-14T18:40:00.000-08:00

Anyone that remembers me from back in the day knows that I was voted most accident prone my senior year despite doing Ninpo Taijutsu for about 5 years. It was always the most odd thing. I would be incredibly graceful during classes at night yet I could trip over my own feet while just walking.

Well 2 nights ago this all came back.

We had our normal hockey practice on Wednesday night. It was a little tougher than normal since I was with the advanced group and the coaches were really pushing us hard. So after practice we were all wiped and ready to get cleaned off before heading to our local Applebees to grab a quick bite. After taking off all the big equipment I ran to the showers to turn them on early so they would be hot when we were ready. Well in my haste I neglected to see that there were a pair of skates in the way and proceded to hit toe next to the pinkie toe on the left foot pretty hard. At the time I thought nothing of it but by the time I got to the car I was in much more pain and decided to head home.

Upon arriving home W took one look and confirmed what I thought. I broke my toe. Yeah I feel stupid. So now I have a really sore toe, limping all over the place, and somehow need to be able to skate by tomorrow afternoon so that I can get on the ice for Skate with the Chargers with Butter and the oldest niece and nephew.

On top of all this I also fell in the shower Monday morning and have a large bruise on my shin to show for it and on Wednesday I ran into a chair at work and broke my badge. Yeah its been one of those weeks. Here's hoping I don't kill myself on the ice tomorrow!!

6 Things

2008-10-23T22:20:00.000-07:00

So while reading my husband's blog last week and he was tagged and did one of those "the six things you didn't know about me". So being the tool I am I decided to follow since I haven't managed to get my other posting done that I was going to put up.

1.I did Ninpo Taijutsu for 5 years.
Yes for 5 years of my teenage life I spent anywhere between 4 and 5 nights a week in the dojo. I got started partially because a guy I was dating at the time was about to go back and partially because i was bored playing softball. I got in the door and was hooked. I started in the kids class and the first week was pretty banged up due to my first experience in shinai (bamboo swords) fighting but I loved it. I started out slow but quickly progressed. During the time in the dojo I gained a lot of self confidence and the feeling that I could actually defend myself if needed. For a short time we even had a demo team and did demonstrations in the area of self defense techniques. It was so much fun and there are many times I do miss it a lot.

2. During my undergrad degree my grades sucked.
Yeah I was the typical person that barely studies in high school, managed to get good grades. I studied a little but didn't have good study habits by the time I moved to Huntsville. It really showed when I hit calculus and my harder mechanical and aerospace engineering classes. I finally figured it out around the beginning of my last year but by that time the GPA damage was done. Now that I am working on my master's I know what to do to study and what not to do. I actually have and have maintained a 3.0 GPA for 3 years now!

3. I can't cook except from a box.
Yes unlike my wonderful husband W over at gamingwithbaby.com I do not cook! My version of cooking is getting a frozen pizza or making some box mix. I honestly just don't have the patience to really learn. I do like to cook when I have the house to myself and a pretty detailed recipe, but other than that I would just prefer to do heat and eat stuff from the freezer. W loves it when I do try and cook one thing in particular; hash brown casserole.

4. I play hockey but do not play golf. Unless you count putt-putt. the game has never really appealed to me. I keep getting told that I need to start playing but have never had the interest. Maybe one day I'll get a bug and go learn to play. Hey maybe it will help be able to actually shoot the puck! I have never thought that hitting a little white ball then going to get it just to hit it again ever appealed to me. Putt putt was always just more fun.

5. I do have my exhibitionist tendencies.
Like my favorite mommy blogger “The Redneck Mommy” at times I do have my wild tendencies. W can attest to what happens when I have one or two drinks. Also as much as I loath my weight and body image there are times I don't mind it. When I was sitting in a hot tub in San Diego with 5 guys (one Canadian Air force pilot who of course played hockey) and two other women and while I didn't look the best in my bikini (reference the one W showed on his post a few weeks ago) at the same time I didn’t look horrible. For having the 25 lbs weight fluctuations before I got pregnant then the 30lbs I gained when I was pregnant it wasn’t too bad. So basically give me a couple of drinks and if the mood is right I’m damn near up for anything.

6. I have a irrational fear of dentist.
As a kid I have very bad memories of every single trip to the dentist. I remember very well having fillings done and not being numb correctly and it hurt pretty bad. When I would say something about it the dentist just said not to worry about it. So for years I just sucked up the pain and dealt with it. When I moved out of the house I slowly stopped going. Then after a botched root canal I didn’t go again for many years. Earlier this year I consulted a dentist and they quoted me something I just couldn’t afford. So after a filling falling out of a chipped tooth I finally found a dentist close to my place that I like. The bad thing is that due to the severity of it she recommended the tooth be removed and I have an implant put in its place. So next week I start the long process of getting my teeth finally fixed after many years.

So that’s about it for now. Right now W, Butters and I are gearing up for the home opener of UAH hockey vs UT. We are so glad that UAH hockey is about to kick off here. Its been far too long or so it seems!

Date Night

2008-10-16T17:12:00.000-07:00

As most people know date night takes on a whole new meaning when kids get introduced into the equation. W and I are lucky some times just to go out by ourselves once every few months.

Now to me date night has a new meaning as well. Now about once a month Butters and I have a “date” night of sorts. This normally doesn’t involve too much and isn’t expensive. Luckily a local mom and baby store in town A Nurturing Moment does monthly meet ups for all members of the family. Since W doesn’t really like to go to these things it’s a perfect time for just Butters and I to just go and do fun stuff. These meetings are either on Saturday mornings or Thursday evenings. Thursday nights are at 6pm and this is perfect for us. Generally I get home around 3 and change clothes then pack up the car and Butters and I go to a large play ground for about an hour or so. Then it’s off to grab dinner. Lately Chik-Fil-A is the place of choice due to not being too expensive but also not horrible health wise either. After a dinner of chicken nuggets, fruit and milk we head over to the store. Normally there are other little ones there as well so while I get to talk to other moms Butters gets to see other little people and play with the toys in the area. This goes on for about an hour then its time to go home. Since his bed time is normally around 7pm he is pretty tired and getting cranky after a very full afternoon. The Saturday meetings are similar but instead of Chick-Fil-A we go to a local bagel place and have mommy/son breakfast then head to the meeting and the park.

As much as I love date nights with W just watching hockey or the occasional movie, the nights with Butters are just as good in ways I never expected.

obsession

2008-10-04T17:58:00.000-07:00

You know you have a problem with being a hockey addict when you get up early to go watch a 7am start time practice of your collegiate hockey team. Yeah that's how we started our day. Butters went absolutely nuts and could barely contain himself! So yeah its begun and we couldn't be happier. Only a few more weeks until the home opener at the VBC vs TN!

My furball Hornet

2008-09-26T19:22:00.000-07:00

Many of my old friends from AC may remember Hornet the kitten that followed me in. He was a very sweet and loving cat but needed a ton of attention. So after much debate I found him a good home. He's left us tonight to go to a new home out in the country to play with other cats and have plenty of outside time. I love him dearly and had to do what's best for him. I'll always miss him and he'll always be my baby fur ball. Oh and looks like Sgt. Major never got his tail!!

Rooptober Weekend recap

2008-09-23T14:19:00.000-07:00

So its taken me a couple of days to recover and gather my thoughts concerning this weekend’s hockey tournament.

First off the drive to Columbus took about 8 hours as predicted. Not too bad and plenty of scenery to look at as we passed through the mountains and onto the plains. Overall the drive was long but wasn’t too bad. The only place we ran into traffic was merging onto I71 North.

We got to our hotel around 8:30 that night, went to grab something to eat then turned in for the night. The next day was going to be rough and we all knew it.

The morning of the tournament brought eating a good breakfast with the team then heading over to the rink to watch the first game. The teams were competitive but we thought we would be ok. Time to gear up for the first game came quickly and as we got ready we listened to very up beat music on a small stereo our coach had just bought. This got us all very excited and soon we hit the ice for the first of 3 games. The warm up was good but as the first period started you could tell there were a lot of nerves. As the game went on things got better and we ended up winning 4-0. This was a huge confidence booster going into the gladiator tournament and game against the Columbus bandits.

The gladiator was an event in itself. It was comprised of 4 events and we thought we had an ok shot at it but were surprised at how well everyone did. We easily won the speed round and accuracy and ended up winning the entire event.

Next was our game against the Columbus Bandits. This was the same team we played in the Nashville tournament and we were all excited to see how we would fare. Let me also say that I have a lot of respect for this team. Not only did they organize the entire Rooptober event but when we played them in Nashville they were very nice. They helped us even during the game and did not try and run the score up which was nice of them. So anyway we played them in a very hard fought battle and ended up winning 5-2. They were shocked and we got many comments afterwards saying that they were amazed at how much we had all improved.

After the game we headed over to Champs for dinner with all the teams then headed back to the hotel. We were only going to get a few hours of sleep before it was time to get up and get back to the rink for an 8:50 game time. Upon arriving to the arena we had a huge surprise. We found out at that point we won the gladiator competition and were going to the championship game even if we lost the last game.

Sunday’s games proved to be the hardest. We were drained from the day before and still had 2 games to play. First we had to play the Dayton fangs then in the championship game. The game against Dayton was tough and we pulled out a 4-3 win. Then with only a 30 minute break it was time for the game against BOB. We fought with all we had but in the end came up short and lost 4-1.
Overall the weekend was not a loss. I am extremely proud of how our team faired in the games. One of the biggest thrills for me was to see how far we have come in only 4 months. The women I skate with are great and I am so happy to be able to play on a hockey team with them.

Oh and before I forget; UAH vs TN rivalry will be renewed on October 24th. Everyone come out and support the Chargers and they kick off their season opener vs the University of Tennessee club hockey team. Then Saturday night Tennessee takes on Alabama in a club hockey match up in the VBC. Both should be very good high intensity games and I am looking forward to it all!

Columbus update

2008-09-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

So a quick recap of today. We won the first game 4-0 then the second 5-2 against a team we played in the Nashville tourney. Now all we need to do is win tomorrow mornings game and we make it to the championship game! We did really well today and a lot of the beginners stepped up. I need to get some rest but I just had to post about such a great day because we didn't expect it at all!

San Diego trip

2008-09-16T17:42:00.000-07:00

So I just concluded another week long trip. This time to San Diego California. The training course as a whole was really good but there were a few things that I would definitely change.

The first thing that I whole heartedly advise is don't fly to an airframe structures design and analysis class. I found myself getting on the plane to come back and looking at the wings and fuselage in a different way. Granted ever since completeing my undergraduate classes in aerospace engineering flying wasn't exactly the fun thing it used to be but after this class I became even more aware of the underlying structure in the wings, fuselage and tail sections. It also didn't help that on Friday we watched a short video of a MD80 ( the same plane I was flying out of SAN the next day) falling apart on landing. The pilot miscalculated the maximum descent rate and was coming in about 80knts too fast and when he landed the gear completely disintegrated under him and the tail literally fell off. Granted this is one of those landings where you think ouch because you know the pilot realized it as soon as it happened but still didn't make me feel any better.

The class as a whole was very informative. The problem was it focused solely on fixed wing aircraft and never ventured in to the world of rotor-wing. The nice thing about it though was there were about 10 people in their early to late 20's that I was able to go and do stuff with outside of the class. The problem became once again that I was the only woman in the class. And flight especially still being a good old boys club made it hard to fit in at times. Most of the guys at first look seemed to think that there was no way I knew about any of this kind of thing. On the first day we had to go around the room and introduce ourselves including where we worked and back ground. Well most everyone's jaw dropped when I said that I did airframe design and analysis and was getting a master's in rotorcraft systems. later in the week I didn't have very many questions but I was able to add some input into how Army aviation handles things such as anaysis and repair of basic structures.

Another thing is what is so surprising about me playing hockey. I got almost as many stares about that as I did my major. Tuesday night a local ice rink had a 16 and up adult skate so I brought my skates and planned to go. On the way out of the hotel I got stopped by at least 4 people regarding why I had skates. I even ran into a couple of guys Friday night when I was headed up to my room after grabbing my skates from the trunk of my car. The looks were just of amazement and I just can't help but laugh at it all.

the hotel arrangements were just annoying and I left a long complaint card in my room about all the issues I had. First off they charged you $10 a day for internet. The problem was it never would work in my room. So if I wanted to access the internet I paid for I had to go downstairs to the lobby. The other problem was one of the people in the gift shop. I went in there one day twice during the training to get a drink each time and with company policy paid with a credit card. The second time I was there she asked me why I refused to pay with cash. Well it was really none of her damn buisness so i ended up filing a complaint with the front desk. It was just ridiculous that why i paid with a credit card was any of her concern.

I did get to do a couple of things that were fun though.
1.Go to in and out burger for the first time. W was right that place was the shiznit.
2.Skate in a different rink. Of course I now know to bring shin guards after bruising both my knees really well.
3.play a game of beach soccer with the guys and then going for drinks afterwards
4.meeting another woman that plays hockey and works for the same parent company.

But in the end its best to just get back home. I've missed my boys and am now not looking forward to the hockey tournament next weekend. I've been gone long enough. I'm ready to be home for a few months before I travel again! Now onto playing catchup with homework and spending time with the family.

I’m off again.

2008-09-07T21:48:00.001-07:00

This time I’m in San Diego CA. So far I’m not impressed but the scenery flying in was nice. This time I also got a nicer rental car (2008 mustang) and the hotel is nice.

So anyway I’m here for airframe structures training. The guy that came with me has no clue what he is getting into. The class starts out with statics, dynamics and applied mechanics of materials. The guy here with me has never seen this stuff so I’m completely expecting his head to explode.

Ok I’m off to bed. Its been a really long day and its going to be a really long week. I’ll post more later this week.

John Hagee on SAHD's

2008-08-27T17:13:00.000-07:00

"For others its laziness, you're too lazy to work and support your children. I'm talking about men. You call yourself Mr. Mom, God calls you a bum. St. Paul says you are worse than an infidel. Let me look you right in the eye and tell you that Hell is your future home if all you do is sit on your backside and let your wife support you in your life." John Hagee

I came home one night and W showed me the Youtube video of Jon Hagee and his speech about his thoughts on men being the care givers to their children rather than the women. He automatically assumes that these men are all lazy because they stay home. This is so far from the truth that it really irritated me. Granted W and most other SAHDs have endured the looks and snide comments but this just takes things to a whole new level. I know W is NOT lazy. I swear Butters keeps me on my toes all weekend so I can only imagine what he goes through in a given week.

The last comment about letting your wife support you is also just wrong. I guess Mr. Hagee never imagined that a woman would suggest such thing to her husband like I did to W so long ago. I guess Mr. Hagee thinks that either both parents should work and the kids be in day care or just the husband. Granted our case was an easy decision. I make much more than W working full time so it only made sense that I work outside of the home while he stays and takes care of Butters during the day.

Then again according to his logic because I work, go to graduate school and play hockey I guess I'm also a bad mother. Wow I can't help but laugh at all that nonsense!

I realize that this is all a rant and I'm ok with that. I just had to make my opinion known of how much I disagree with this man regarding my family structure and what works for us.

school

2008-08-06T17:07:00.000-07:00

Oh these are the days where I miss being an undergraduate. Yes you read that right I miss being an undergraduate sometimes. Mainly I miss it because as an undergrad you aren’t held to the incredibly high expectations as in grad school. I got my grades back today and I have a C in DOE and an A in reliability. Granted this sucks because I might have to re-take DOE but I still have a 3.0 average.

Ah well, the joys of grad school. Hey at least my company is paying for it. I just ordered books and the total was just shy of $300.

Update

2008-08-05T17:21:00.000-07:00

So I apologize for not updating from the past post but things have been moving at such a fast pace that its been hard for me to even keep up.

The eating thing is getting better. I’ve found that even if I eat late, I need something after hockey. The last few weeks I’ve been going to Applebee’s with the other women and just getting a fruit smoothie helps so much. Granted I am still dog tired the next day but that’s to be expected. Also luckily the guys at work have stopped being so critical of when I eat and what I eat. I just try and eat when I’m hungry and not over eat. Other than that I’ve stopped really watching what I eat so much because I tend to be overly critical.

But of course the guys stop one thing to start another. The last few weeks I started getting a lot of crap because of school. I take my 3 hours that I am allotted every week and these guys don’t see it as bettering myself, but as me just not being here. One person I talked to about this made a good point. First off I have to consider the source and secondly “Remember that you're a threat to them: young, inexpensive, and female. You're showing ambition. Chances are that these guys don't see upward mobility for themselves and do for you and are, sadly, threatened by that. So they're going to try to sabotage you because
you can have what they can't.” And this is completely true. These guys just want to drag me down with them and I can’t let that happen. Grade will be posted tomorrow so all I can do now is hope for the best. My DOE final was rough but that was to be expected. I know I studied for it as best I could and I think I did ok, but when I think I do ok on a test that’s never good. So basically I’m expecting the worst and hoping for the best.

So next semester I have another 2 classes lined up. This time is air breathing propulsion and systems engineering. Propulsion is going to be a tough class, but I don’t think systems will be too bad while systems should be easy but tedious.

On another note Butters is finally walking…. A little. He walks when we make him, but if he can get away with it, he crawls. I swear walking is just too over rated for him and he just doesn’t care. He can do it when he wants to and he’s proved that, but most of the time he just doesn’t care to.

I have yet another thing I need to do as well. I have been neglecting my teeth for quite a while after fears of the dentist. So right now I am working on a way to financially afford all the work that needs to be done as well as a dentist to do it all.

Ok I think that's about all for now. I am trying to take it easy the next couple of weeks with no school beign in session.

weight isssues more in depth

2008-07-08T19:01:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't posted since my trip to Detroit, but things have just been crazy. Lately there is something that is bugging me and I think this is the best place to talk about it.

The issue is my weight and body perception.

I'm going to start by going back to around 1998-1999 time frame. I was a senior in high school and was training in martial arts 5 to 6 days a week plus marching band and maintaing my GPA. Amidst all this activity I wasn't eating right and wasn't fat but chubby. I weighed in at around 150 lbs and wore a size 10. I was ashamed of how I looked and wore baggy clothes to cover it all up.

Fast forward to 2000-2001 time frame. I was working at Aviation challenge and space camp while going to school. When I had teams of kids I started finding it hard to eat the same cafeteria food that the kids did. So instead I started eating a diet of cereal, dried apples and granola bars. Needless to say I lost a lot of weight and got down to around 120lbs.

When I was pregnant with Alvin I got up to 160lbs which is my heaviest. Granted It was because of bieng full term pregnant, but the numbers still bothered me.

I've faced the weight battle for a while as you can tell. Right before I got pregnant I got a tattoo of a koi fish swimming upstream with lotus flowers around it. It symbolizes my struggle with this as well as other things and how I can get through anything as long as I just don't quit.

I talk about it all because it affects me to this day. When I look in the mirror all I see is the chubby kid. granted now I have a much better control over my diet but I still feel bad. I weigh in around 125 (give or take a couple of pounds) and wear around a size 5 of 6.

Some days I have trouble justifying my caloric intake. Take today for example. I got up around 3:30 this morning got to work around 4:10 then had my coffee with cream and sugar. This was the first calories I had since around 7:30pm the night before. Then around 7am I had my breakfast, a blueberry bagel with cream cheese. I tried to eat it slowly but I was so hungry that I was starting to get dizzy and nauseated. So after that around 9:30 I started getting hungry again and gave in to have a snack of baked potato chips. Then at lunch I had one serving of vegetable beef soup and another serving on baked potato chips and then 5 tootsie rolls. For dinner I had a piece of chicken and a small salad and split a half cup of chunky monkey ice cream with Alvin before I put him to bed at 7. This was all followed by 45 minutes of working out on the Wii fit.

All of what I ate today just made me feel huge. All I felt was that I was eating a ton and somehow needed to stop but when I ate it was because I was honestly hungry. I know that eating smaller meals more often is good for me but its hard some days. Its hard to have my boss tell me that all I do is eat and that I need to stop. Its hard to hear the guys I work with talk about shiny objects (hot women) and feel like that I am no where near that. I've been working out with the Wii Fit now 3 nights a week plus playing hockey 2 nights a week. I'm getting plenty of exercise and I know I need to fuel my muscles, but some days its hard to justify it all. Some days I do let my thoughts about being chubby get to me and I try and keep from eating to the point I get sick.

I'm saying this all because I have come to realize that I might need help. I'm starting to think that maybe things are getting to me again and I might want to talk to a professional dietitian or counselor. I really don't want HH2, HH5, and W to see me struggle with weight issues. Its not fair to me or them.

I'm posting all this because I need to talk about it. I need to get these things off my chest. I want for anyone who reads this to feel free to comment. Be as blunt as you like but I want people to understand who I am other than an engineer, mother, step-mother, wife and hockey player. I am real and vunerable. I've overcome so much and still have many things to accomplish.

Ok this has officially rambled on long enough. I'm going to end this now but if anyone who reads this has anything to say about this please feel free to post any and all comments.

Back on the road

2008-06-17T18:42:00.000-07:00

So I just wanted to do a quick post before trying to get some rest. I left lovely 92degree weather in HSV today to fly to Novi MI by way of Detroit where the high is around 72. I’m up here for Catia V4 training for the next 3 days which I really need.

So far the trip has been ok. Luckily I got a GPS system in my rental car (a Chevy HHR) which has helped a lot. Of course though Murphy is following me in some ways.

1. When I got to the hotel I hooked the eee in and it would not work. Turns out after calling the tech support weenies they don’t know why it’s not playing well with Linux but it will work fine with my windows lap top.

2. This is a good and bad thing. When I got here they automatically upgraded me to a 2 room suite. This would be great if it wasn’t just me but the extra space just makes it lonelier even though I’m keeping busy.

3. After running over to the mall I consulted the GPS of where to get something for dinner. I saw Joe’s Crab Shack listed and decided to go there. Well 20 minutes later I get there and it’s not even open anymore. So instead I end up coming back to Famous Dave’s and having barbeque. Not all bad just frustrating.

4. My work laptop doesn’t support my DL classes so I can’t watch any of the video. I am going to be so behind when I get back!

On another note Alvin is officially weaned. He nursed for the last time last night before bed. I think we did the best at child led weaning that we possibly could have. He didn’t want to nurse anymore unless I got the boppy out. Other than that he was too busy going all over the place to care about nursing. We went for almost 14 straight months and made it through me having an oversupply issues and him not wanting to nurse for the first 3 months. I also pumped for a year straight at work at least once a day. I’m proud of how far he has come and amazed at the same time.

Ok I need to get some rest before tomorrow’s long day of training.

burned out

2008-06-15T19:07:00.000-07:00

I think I'm officially burned out with hockey. This past week after being up every day at 3am I was completely exhausted by the end and just frustrated with my performance. Then tonight things were good but I didn't feel confident in myself. So this next week I am heading to Novi Michigan for Catia V4 training. Its almost a blessing in disguise. I hate having to leave family for a while but at the same time it gives me a break from skating twice a week. So tomorrow I'm taking a vacataion day from work then leaving out early Tuesday morning. Hopefully all will go well and I'll also be able to keep up with all the school work I have to do as well.

Summer term

2008-06-05T14:41:00.000-07:00

Its the first full week of classes and I'm already behind. I've got 2 reliability lectures to watch this weekend to catch up and one design of experiments class to watch and homework to turn in on Saturday. I am starting to feel like Minitab is my kryptonite since I can do everything in excel but can't seem to get it to work in the program I need it to.

I am having fun in SOL this summer. The first game was an eye opener but a lot of fun. It will really help me get better quicker. The only thing is I need to play winger some in the women's scrimages since it looks like I'll be playing that more in SOL this summer.

Ok back to watching lectures before dinner and hockey.

new health kick

2008-05-26T17:57:00.000-07:00

So a couple of months ago W and I started a health kick of sorts. He started noticing all the foods we ate with high fructose corn syrup in them and decided that we didn't want Butters to have it. So we started going through Publix and Target searching out labels of foods that didn't have it in there. The first few times it was really hard. There are so many foods that you don't think about that have it in there. The first big thing was bread. Almost all prepackaged bread has it in there, while the Publix bakery or Target bakery bread does not have it in there. We also noticed that about 85% of cereals in the isle have it in there. So now we are slowly getting things out of the house that have it in there. Its taken some time but its been worth it. I've felt much better and can now taste it when I eat something that has a lot of it in it.

In other news adult clinic came to an end last week and I was defiantly sad. It was great to get coached by the UAH coaching staff and players as well as Jonathan Loundsbery from the Havoc. The coaches kept up going with skills and drills for all levels as well as some good scrimmaging at the end of the practice.I wanted to do it again but in all honestly I'll be too busy. With 6 graduate hours starting tomorrow and playing women's league on Thursday nights and then SOL on Sunday afternoons its going to be a busy summer.

Oh and one small milestone with Butters today. He went an entire day without a bottle and no fussing for it. Granted he nursed 4 times but other than that he only had a sippy cup which is a small step but I was very proud of him today.

food issues

2008-05-24T11:20:00.000-07:00

I've never made an effort to cover up my eating problems but this weekend for some reason they reared their ugly head.

Let me back track and first say that in the past I have had issues with my weight and body in general. I've gotten past it for the most part but some days it comes back. This past weekend was one of those times. Since Alvin isn't nursing as much I know that I'm not burning as many calories and I've started scrutinizing what I eat. So much so that I bring myself to tears agonizing over what I want and being hungry but not wanting to eat and have to deal with the consequences later. I weighed myself today for the first time in a few months and weighted in at 124lb and about 27% body fat. Granted this isn't bad but I'm still not happy. This is the main reason for a long time I didn't even look at a scale. But now I sit here with the boy and W both napping and wanting something to eat. My mind tells me no because I'm too big as it is and my body is telling me yes because I'm getting dizzy. So I end up eating about a cup of cheese pasta left over from dinner last night with Parmesan cheese and I feel bad. WTF I eat and get some of the dizziness to stop and now I'm back to feeling guilty for it. Granted since playing hockey W keeps telling me that my legs have gotten smaller and I look more lean but I don't feel it. All I see is the chubby kid I used to be. I have got to get over all this for the sake of my kids because I do not want them to see me having food and diet issues and then do it themselves.

Summer SOL

2008-05-17T17:55:00.000-07:00

So who's with me to play summer open league hockey? Sure I've only been playing for 3 months, but what do I have to loose?

So who locally is with me?!

another random comment

2008-05-06T17:33:00.001-07:00

Just a quick comment from around the office last week.

DA1 “You know V your more of a man than most guys because most guys won't play hockey.”

It took me a minute to think about this but I had to laugh. DA1 is right most guys not to mention women would take on all I do and hockey. I just have to laugh at it all.

school, hockey and weaning

2008-05-04T16:21:00.001-07:00

So finals and the hockey tournament are over and now I can start to catch my breath. Even though I studied for my 601 final I still couldn’t pull off the grade I needed. So now I don’t really know what to do. Part of me just wants to give up. But par for the course I have resigned myself to keep going. I know I passed flight testing and if I don't get the grade I need in 601 I'll just have to retake it in the spring. As of right now grades aren't posted yet but I'm not looking forward to it. This summer I am taking reliability and design of experiments. Its going to be a rough 10 weeks but I’ve pulled off crazier things…like playing hockey!

Hockey is still going well. Dennis Williams the assistant coach of the UAH chargers finally made it to adult clinic Monday night and I had a blast. He was really patient and tailored the drills to challenge all of the levels. Also the hockey tournament in Nashville was great. I of course had a run in with Murphy and landed very hard on my tail bone the first game and stayed hurt all weekend but that of course didn’t stop me from playing although in hindsight it should have. A week later I am still hurting. This week's practice was a little slower than normal. Our coach tore her thigh muscle, another girl sprianed her ankle, one broken thumb and other small injurys. It was a good practice but you could definatly tell that the previous weekend had taken its tole. Oh well it just comes with the territory I guess. This week will be our first real game at the ice plex. If anyone is interested in seeing us play we will be at the Ice Plex in Huntsville at 2040.

So after 13 months of pumping at work and else ware I think we are about done with it, but I feel really guilty. This past week I started working on weaning off my middle of the day pumping session and it went pretty well. I’ve been trying to collect my thoughts on this for quite a while, but while W and I were at the tournament I got the sense that Butters really is starting to wean himself a little. W and I were gone this weekend and my MIL kept him but she still gave him milk that we had frozen. When we got back on Sunday he didn’t do his normal your home I want to nurse deal. Instead he was thrilled to see us but wanted to go and play. He has also started not wanting to nurse to sleep anymore. He’s not nursing at night anymore and hasn’t been since about 5 months. I just feel bad about not pumping during the day anymore. I guess it’s just the hormone changes but I just feel bad. I know its great that we made it a year, but I didn’t expect him to start wanting drop one so early. But in the end its for the best. He is still getting his bottle first thing in the morning and still nursing when ever I'm at home for as long as he wants. So in the end it seems to have all worked out for the best.

hockey and criticism

2008-04-17T12:00:00.000-07:00

For any women out there that may have considered playing hockey I have one thing to say, “Be a shoe” to quote W. Meaning just go a head and do it. These last few weeks playing hockey have been amazing. I play with a bunch of women who are mothers them selves with older kids. Monday night I started playing in a hockey clinic with women and men and it wasn’t bad at all. I wasn’t the worst out there and actually had a lot of fun playing against the guys. It’s true that playing against the guys that were much better made me really have to work harder to keep up. So last night I only got about 3.5 hours of sleep and I am completely exhausted but it was so much fun. After the class was over we even got to stay for about 20 extra minutes and play a pick up game. That was really tough but once again a lot of fun. Dennis Williams, assistant coach of the UAH Chargers was supposed to coach, but last night he wasn’t there and instead was replaced by Kevin Galerno a forward from UAH Chargers and Jonathan Lounsbury a defensemen from the Huntsville Havoc. I got to work with Kevin on puck handling and shooting and he really helped me start to get the hang of it a lot more.

So in other news the criticism has started about me nursing past a year. Granted I expected it, but its come from people I didn’t expect. So far when I get the comments about how long we are going to keep going I just say something along the lines of we are not in any rush to wean. That normally gives people the impression that we are about done and they back off, but the truth of it is that we really aren’t done. Right now the only time frame I have in my head is sometime before I finish my master’s degree. By that time he will be about 2.5 and I will probably be ready for a break before we possibly start trying for a second after I finish my degree. The odd thing is a year ago I don’t think I ever even considered the thought of nursing past a year. I guess I thought that I would just wean at a year or that he would self wean and we would just be done with it. A year later I don’t see how I could wean him right now.

After saying all of this once again I am reminded of something. I could not have taken all of this on without the unwavering support of W. He is the one that encouraged me to start the women’s league. He’s the one that has never given me any grief about extended nursing and has even gone as far as to defend it to his family without me having to say a word. If it wasn’t for him and his support of my insane energizer bunny on crack way of being there is no way I could do all of this.

guilt and random update

2008-04-07T18:28:00.000-07:00

It seems like there isn’t a week that goes by lately where I don’t feel guilty to some degree. I apologize to W for seemingly being a complete ghost during the week and feel bad for Butters that I only see him for about 3 hours before he goes to bed at night. W constantly tells me that he understands and that I’m doing all I can, but I still feel bad. Lately I’ve working more 11 to 12 hour days getting to work at 4am just so I can get things done and still get home to see both of them around 1530. I try and tell myself that this is great that I put forth the effort to make time for both of them, but sometimes it just doesn’t seem like enough. I know that all of this comes from juggling work, school and now hockey with family, but I always seem to have that guilt. One of the things that keeps me going is know that with school I’ll be finished by the time Butters turns 3. At least this way I’ll be there for him later. Also part of the reason I have started playing hockey is so that I can skate with Butters when he starts termites when he turns 3.

On another random note the name Butters is very ironic now. He has contact allergies to acids from fruits but now he also has a contact allergy to butter. We don’t know if its to all dairy products, but this weekend while eating scrambled eggs cooked in butter and smearing them all over himself he broke out in blisters everywhere the eggs touched. So we gave him a bath and within 2 hours the blisters were all gone and he was fine. He never acted bothered by them. It’s just really strange.

In other news I love playing hockey. After my 3rd week of practice I am really starting to enjoy myself. This last practice we did full ice scrimmages and I really liked it. The main thing I am having problems with is puck handling. It looks so easy but my hand eye coordination just stinks! I am so excited to go to this tournament at the end of the month.

Also finals are coming up in both stats and flight testing so if I don’t update this thing regularly in the next few weeks that is the reason right there. My stats test is going to be comprehensive which scares me to death and my flight testing final is a presentation which also makes me a little nervous. Either way I have a lot of work to do in the next 2 weeks to get ready for these finals.

A year with HH2

2008-03-25T04:37:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it but it’s already been a year since HH2 was born. There have been many sleepless nights but they have all been worth it. In the beginning braving the NICU every 4 hours to see him and in some cases to get peed on was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But looking at him today you can never tell that there was ever a problem. He has progressed by leaps and bounds that I never imagined. His vocabulary is growing week by week and he is slowly starting to pick up some signs. Of course he has his favorites. Favorite words seem to be mama and dada while the favorite sign is “all done”. He loves to watch a nascar race when ever there is one on TV and say uh-oh at just the right time. His new favorite character is elmo and he is still my little hockey fan through and through.

This also marks something big for me. I have officially completed my goal of nursing for a full year. Granted there have been plenty of times that I was ready to give up but thankfully I never did. After pumping for three months I was happy to go back to nursing while I was at home and just pumping at work and first thing in the morning. A lot of getting through it all was my support system from not only W but other moms in a local group that I met and the other part was just me being stubborn. I did not want him to ever have to need formula. So now here we are at a year and at this point I'm still going to let him nurse on demand for a while longer. I still say that I am going to do child led weaning but in all honesty I am going to take it just like I did nursing in the beginning which is just month by month, week by week or in some cases day by day. I think that's really the only fair way to do it for both of us right now.

This also marks the one year anniversary of W officially becoming a SAHD. I don't tell him enough how grateful I am that he agreed to this for us, but I truly am.

So here we are at a year and I can't believe the day is here. He's come so far from the sick baby boy that I first saw in the NICU whose first order of business when we came down to see him was to pee on W. Now he is a cruising and almost walking one year old little boy who has defiantly stole my heart from the day he was born!

On the defensive again

2008-03-19T10:46:00.000-07:00

So this week I have found myself once again defending my choices to the guys. Since I talked about playing hockey (which in hind sight was a bad idea) the comments have been comical but at the same time struck a chord with me somehow. I kept my cool as usual and just did my normal stewing away from them since its even worse to let them know something bothered you. Basically we were having our normal morning coffee and impromptu bs meeting and the guys asked if I was serious about playing hockey. I of course told them yes. They then said they just didn’t understand how I could do that and take time away from my family since I was already in grad school.

Now here’s what gets me. Both DA1 and DA2 go out once a week and have guys night. Neither one get home to see their kids go to bed, but yet feel its their right as men to be able to have a guys night and go drink once a week. My question is how is me playing hockey on Thursday nights after grad school any different?

Personally I need the mental and physical break from school and work. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and spending time with them, but I need some sort of release. I used to work out quite a bit in the morning but since we have had so much over time that I haven’t been able to get over there. Martial arts as also a great stress relief but I haven’t been able to do that in a very long time. So now I start a new activity and stress relief. Already we have a tournament scheduled for the end of April. It should be a good trip just because my finals for ISE601 and MAE680 are the night before.

So tonight is my first practice with the team and we will just have to see how everything goes. With any luck things will go well and I won’t be too banged up tomorrow.

Women in engineering

2008-03-18T04:16:00.000-07:00

Once again I have no clue what possessed me to look this stuff up, but I guess I got curious. I’ve always known that women in engineering, much less mechanical and aerospace were few, but since I’ve worked with some of them they haven’t seemed as much of a rarity as the numbers say. So I looked at the 2004 census report and here are the numbers I came up with.

In 2004
For all engineering
23% female
77% male
*Not really surprising since I know that less than half of the engineers I work with are women*

Freshman undergraduate students enrolled at a 4 year accredited university
17.2% female
82.8% male
*I think at UAH this is a little higher.*

Number of women that held the engineering title 2004 at thier jobs
563- mechanical
149- aerospace
*Now this was the number that shocked me*

Percentage of women with husband not working 7.9%
*Oddly enough this wasn’t a shock.*

So there are the stats. In some respects I know they are old and that more women are getting into engineering but still the numbers seem low. I’ve been around this business for a couple of years now and I guess because I’m in a town with more where just about everyone you meet is an engineer of some kind.

Ok this ended up as a random mess of a blog. Hopefully my next one will make more sense.

more hockey stuff

2008-03-17T20:51:00.000-07:00

So its official. I went from possibly playing women’s hockey yesterday to going to get fitted for equipment tomorrow. I can’t wait to see what happens with this. W has been very supportive and knows that I need some kind of outlet since I really don’t have one right now.Anyway hopefully either tomorrow or Wednesday I will get around to posting the blog that I have been working on for the past couple of days. I promise it has more to do with what this blog is about more than hockey stuff! But now I can officially now say that we are a hockey family. HH2 was born around a hockey season and will start termites when he is 3, W photographs hockey really well, and now I am going to play adult league.